Stand up (nicely) to demanding guests

This column was originally published in 2014.

Dear Annie: I have relatives coming to visit later this month. A week ago, I received a list of necessities for their visit. Some seem reasonable for young children: cribs, high chairs and childproof cabinets. But some seem rude and presumptuous: a grocery list of 20 organic items (including peeled shrimp and smoked salmon) and individual bedrooms for the children.

Of course, I will adhere to requests that keep children safe and comfortable, but I don’t feel I need to accommodate their food preferences. There are no allergies here. They just prefer organic everything. I do not plan on purchasing the things they have asked for and would like to give them an earful on their lack of graciousness. They are, after all, guests. But I know that is not a good idea. Please give me some advice on how to respond when they find their demands are not met. Anonymous

Dear Anonymous: Notify them in advance that you have childproofed your home but cannot accommodate their more exotic requests. Let them know where they can purchase their organic food and say you’ll make room in your fridge and cabinets for them. If you are feeling particularly peevish, you could also send them a list of local hotels and motels, saying you’re doing the best you can but will certainly understand if they think they’ll be more comfortable elsewhere. Be extremely nice about it, but stick to your guns.

Dear Annie: I had a similar experience to that of Proud Grandma, whose childless daughter criticizes the way her siblings raise their kids. After hearing one too many criticisms, I finally came back with, “I hope, when you have children, they are as good as you think mine ought to be!” My sibling was hurt, but it didn’t happen so often afterward.

L.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column.