Golf balls out of bounds in kitchen sink
The following column was originally published in 2015, before the pandemic.
Dear Annie: Please help settle a dispute between my wife and me. I have been an avid golf player for the past 20 years. After every Sunday game, I come home and wash the golf balls in the kitchen sink. We live in a very modest house, and other than the bathroom, the kitchen has the only other sink.
I refuse to wash my golf balls in the bathroom because I use the same sink to brush my teeth. For what feels like forever now, my wife has argued that the kitchen is no place to wash things from the outside world. While I understand that it may not be the most ideal place, it is really the only option I have.
My wife has now reached the point where she doesn't even want me to play golf anymore. I really love golfing and would hate to see it come to this. How should I approach this with my wife?
Between a Golf Ball and a Hard Place
Dear Between: Your golf balls don't belong in the kitchen sink. You may object to washing them where you brush your teeth, but it's hardly an improvement to wash them where you prepare your food. If you want to continue golfing without annoying your wife, we recommend a compromise. Many golf courses have ball-cleaning machines. If so, use them. If not, when you get home, soak them in a bucket of hot water. (A golfer we know first throws in a tablet of denture cleaner to really get the grit out.) It's a small inconvenience to you, and it will make your wife happy.
Dear Annie: I've been travelling a lot, but now I'm home for a couple of months. Right before I left for my last trip, I met “Alec” and we clicked immediately.
The problem is, we come from very different cultures and are looking for different things from a relationship. Alec also is dealing with various personal issues that I don't want to take on.
Since I've been home, I've seen Alec twice. I know I'm leading him on, but selfishly I don't want to stop seeing him. We always have such an amazing time together. I've never had this sort of relationship.
Should I just go with it and enjoy a new and exciting experience, or should I put an end to our budding relationship before one of us gets hurt?
On the Fence
Dear Fence: As long as you are honest, you are not leading him on. Make sure Alec knows that you don't anticipate the relationship lasting for the long haul. That way, if he still wants to continue seeing you, it's up to him. You cannot avoid someone getting hurt in spite of your upfront warnings. But keep in mind that some of the most unexpected relationships can turn into longterm, loving commitments. If the things that are “amazing” with Alec include good conversations, shared values, a similar sense of humour, warmth and affection, they could make up for cultural differences and other issues. Only time will tell.