Saskatoon StarPhoenix

`Mommy pride' offends friend

- Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column.

The following column was originally published in 2017.

Dear Annie: I am becoming annoyed by a trend I'm seeing with my friends who have recently become parents — the “naked mommy.” I'm 27 and have not yet had children. Several of my friends are having their second or third, but most are on their first. I work in a physician's office, so I see a lot of medical-related nudity, and it is not a problem for me. But when I check my email, text messages or Facebook page, it is an entirely different story. All of my “mommy friends” are posting pictures of themselves breastfeed­ing or otherwise with everything hanging out for the world to see.

A friend of mine recently posted a very detailed video of the birth of her daughter. Another friend could have fielded a softball team with the number of people who were in the delivery room, including her husband's male friends. It was weird. My sister, bless her heart, dropped her undies at a friend's baby shower to show her episiotomy stitches. I've tried telling my friends that I have no interest in their breastfeed­ing and delivery videos, but they say I'm a prude. Am I wrong to think that just because you can take a picture of it doesn't mean you should?

Not a Prude, Just Prudent

Dear Prudent: This is a combinatio­n of new mommy pride and the obsession to publicize every private moment. New parents are often so enamoured of their amazing experience that they feel compelled to share all the specific details with everyone.

Dear Annie: An adult nephew sent a letter to family and friends asking for donations to help pay for a summer humanitari­an aid trip working as a missionary in a Third World country. While this person is one of my favourite relatives, I have a problem with this. My idea of fundraisin­g for personal goals is working your tail off at a car wash, not hitting up relatives for money. More importantl­y, I believe in respecting the religious beliefs of Indigenous cultures and providing humanitari­an aid with no religious strings attached.

I feel if I raise the first objection, I'll become the “Scrooge” of the family. Raising the second point will offend my nephew's religious beliefs. My inclinatio­n is to send a small donation and keep my mouth shut. What would you do?

Reluctant Contributo­r

Dear Reluctant: It is not necessary to argue the merits of the trip or your opinion about fundraisin­g. Your choice is simply to donate or not.

Dear Annie: “Worst Fiancé Ever in Toronto” sounds as if he has a lot of remorse about sleeping with his soon-to-be sister-inlaw. However, he can't keep this inside forever.

I really think it's best for him to come clean and tell his fiancée everything, even though the consequenc­es will most probably be the terminatio­n of the engagement and possibly the end of her brother's marriage. He messed up big time, and even though it will devastate her family, he owes her the truth so she can plan the rest of her life. The sister-in-law is just as guilty and needs to bear the consequenc­es of her actions. Calling It as I See It

Dear Calling: We agree that he should tell his fiancée that he cheated. However, naming names and destroying the sister-in-law's marriage is not so simple, and we don't recommend it. That should be her decision, not his.

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