Always be wary of dating sites

The following column was originally published in 2017.

Dear Annie: My friend, “Josie,” recently joined a popular online dating site after her husband decided he'd rather be single. Josie met several interesting men on the site, and after chatting with them for a week or two, every single one of them asked her for money. She refused.

Finally, one asked her to cash a cheque for him. He spent about a month setting her up to be comfortable doing this favour and she fell for it. He and the bank took her money. The man said he would straighten it all out, but of course, he has failed to show up.

I want your help exposing this supposedly reputable online dating site. It's a very bad place for single women to find true love. It is really a site for unscrupulous male thieves to prey on vulnerable women. Something needs to be done to put a stop to this abuse and hold these larcenous Lotharios accountable for their misdeeds. What can we do? Angry Ann

Dear Angry: The problem with online dating sites, even reputable ones, is that they cannot guarantee the honesty of all users. Josie should send all of the personal information she has on these men to the managers of the website and register a complaint, letting them know that the reputation of their site is at risk and that they need to do a better job of vetting their clientele and keeping these scam artists out. Women need to report these men or the managers won't know, and some women are too embarrassed to complain.

Of course, the bottom line is that people, male or female, must protect themselves by refusing to do any “favours” that involve money. Period.

Dear Annie: My 85-year-old mother seems to be a loving, generous person. But I know her to be extremely self-centred. For example, I don't dare mention that I might be sick or have a problem, because she will reply with a long list of her own complaints. Everything she says, every story she tells, is turned around to make her look wonderful and important.

We recently had a family gathering and I made a toast to my sisters-in-law and our children because they all had made important advancements in their careers and education. Before the toast was over, my mom piped up and said, “What about me?” and proceeded to ramble on about herself.

I am writing not to get advice, but rather to give it. I don't care how old you are; don't hog the spotlight. Listen to your children and grandchildren and be interested in their lives. Because of my mother's narcissism, I have learned to be humble. Because of my mother's self-centred attitude, I have learned to be sensitive to others. Because of my mother's constant complaining, I have learned not to talk about my own aches and pains. I am sure that when she is gone, I will miss her. But the best thing she ever did for me was to teach me to be a better mother and grandmother by setting such a bad example.