Sister needs ground rules

Dear Annie: My older sister, “Lilly,” is always taking my things without permission. She uses my socks, hair dryer and makeup. She does this with everyone in the family. She even borrows my parents' car without asking.

Her latest fixation is my ipod. Sometimes, she doesn't return it until I demand that she give it back. Frankly, I don't want her to use it at all because I don't trust her to return it. But she makes me feel so guilty that I end up giving it to her anyway. Of course, Lilly has her own ipod, but she doesn't like to spend money on new songs.

Lilly says she means to ask permission, but either forgets or we aren't around. Annie, I've had enough. What can I do?

Better to Ask Permission than Forgiveness

Dear Better: Lilly needs to be “trained.” Give her some ground rules. If she returns your ipod in a timely manner, you can trust her to borrow it again. However, if she takes it without permission or won't give it back until you demand it, tell her it is off-limits the next time — and mean it. If you keep falling for the guilt trip, you have no one else to blame.