Opening to the Spirit
Today’s word: Welcome
1
) Although it takes quite a bit of planning to take time off to attend a special conference or weekend retreat, I love the whole process of preparing, and setting off for the event. I especially look forward to the opening welcome.
The host of the event sets the tone, introduces the speakers and describes how the day will unfold. The air is full of anticipation. I feel invited to step into this time with the expectation that I will meet new and interesting people and learn new things. Of course the promise of good food always has me wondering if I come for the event or really just the food.
As I prepare to attend a church meeting this weekend, the highlight for me will be all the little touches that make one feel welcome, the nametags, the chocolates at the tables, the warm lunch prepared locally, the exchanges with colleagues I haven’t seen in some time. How well we are able to collaborate within any group depends a lot on how comfortable we feel with them.
If the environment is competitive, if each person is preoccupied with business not related to the meeting or if I am going through traumatic times and there is no one in the group I can talk to, then my contributions to the group will be minimal. Everything proceeds from the quality of the welcome. You can never have too many chocolates at the tables.
2 ~~~
) The second we chose our word these song lyrics popped into my head:
“Welcome in, we'd love to have you join the family.
It's a joy to have you with us as we sing our songs of praise.
You know we'd really love to have you in our family.
Welcome in to the family of God” I did a baptism once where a soloist with a guitar sang this song just before the sacrament. That particular family felt special and became members, with their children growing up in Sunday School. They were truly welcomed into our church family.
Years ago when I was twenty and working in Calgary I went shopping for a congregation to worship in. I got up Sunday morning and went to a church downtown dressed as usual in jeans and a jean jacket, hair hanging down my shoulders. I should have realized this wouldn't be a good fit for me when I saw the basket at the back of the sanctuary with scarves for the ladies to wear. After the worship service I went downstairs for coffee, and I kid you not, no one spoke to me, not even the minister. Needless to say I didn't return the next Sunday. I didn't give up though and went to another congregation the following week not far from my boarding house. There I was greeted with a warm welcome, received an invitation for lunch, which I accepted, and was encouraged to join a discussion group that Sunday evening. I had found my church home for the summer in Calgary. By the way, I still wore my jeans and jean jacket, and didn't cut my hair for months.
Ever since that moment I have been aware of newcomers and tried to welcome the stranger. When we become a warm accepting church family we can bond together and work to make a difference in our world. Let's all sing “Welcome in to the family of God.”
3 ~~~
) About once a week, for the past twenty years, I have gathered with a small group of friends to practice something called “Voice Dialogue”. The originators of this practice, Hal and Sidra Stone, wish they had named it differently. By the time they figured out what they were really doing, though, the name had stuck. The alternate name is “Aware Ego Process” and it is all about welcoming those parts of ourselves that we think we don’t want.
The basics are this: We have all developed ways to keep ourselves safe. We all try to figure out the things we need to do in order to feel safe and to belong. Dualistic thinking, and the disowning of parts of ourselves, is the unintended result. What started as a way to get approval becomes a rigid set of rules within us. Voice Dialogue encourages us to meet and welcome the parts that were formerly not allowed. More importantly, the practice of Voice Dialogue helps us to get some freedom and choice about the parts that had us thinking that theirs was the only way.
Here is a quick example. Let’s say that we learned early on that doing things and being productive was the way to win approval. We would develop rules about working hard and we would judge ourselves, and others, as “lazy” when this was not happening. In the extreme we develop workaholism and an inability to relax or allow anyone (including ourselves) to be valued just for who we are. Meeting and welcoming the parts of ourselves that can relax and just be is a way to choice and freedom. It is a way to welcome others in their variety as well.
Through the practice of Voice Dialogue we learn to welcome everything and to make choices out of awareness. It is a life’s work.
4 ~~~
) It's not just about how wide you open the door to greet and gather in the invited guests. It begins long before extending the invitations, wrapping gifts, setting the table, preparing the feast or party or celebration. True welcome begins as soon as we make room in our hearts and open ourselves to the presence of others.
There's a story about a weary traveler who's gone a long way down a dusty road. At night he comes upon a small village. Along the main street he plods past rows of fine houses all with their gates closed and windows darkened. Cold and tired and hungry, he's unwilling to wake the sleeping village. He trudges on till finally, off in the distance, he sees a flickering glow in a farmhouse window. Eventually he raps on the door and wakens the old one who greets him in robe and slippers, ushers him in, hangs up his coat, and turns to put the kettle on. Apologizing for disturbing his host, the stranger explains: "I thought you must be awake when I saw your light." The old one replied, "Day and night I always keep a lamp burning. Who knows who might happen along. You're here, and I'm awake now."
The heart is a lamp. To be truly welcoming we must keep the inner light burning. We must hold ourselves in readiness. So many travelers passing through: sometimes we're the host, at others the one who happens along. We're all on a journey; we all long to find welcome, to be invited in, warmly included. Who knows, according to another old story, when a new bond may form with each visitor crossing our threshold. Have you ever been blessed to entertain angels unawares? My dearest friends were strangers I once welcomed into my life.
~~~
One word, four voices - now it's your turn to reflect: What's it like to be blessed by a spirit of welcome?
~~~
Rev. Mead Baldwin pastors the Waterville & North Hatley pastoral charge; Rev. Lynn Dillabough is now Rector of St. Paul's in Brockville ON. She continues to write for this column as a dedicated colleague with the Eastern Townships clergy writing team; Rev. Lee Ann Hogle ministers to the Ayer’s Cliff, Magog & Georgeville United Churches; Rev. Carole Martignacco is Consulting Minister to UU Estrie-unitarian Universalists in North Hatley.