The state of the world Dear Annie
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 22, 2018
Dear Annie: I’m not writing in about any problem you can solve. This letter is about a much bigger problem — namely, the state of the world today. It’s impossible to turn on the news without getting depressed, whether because of natural disasters or the bitter state of politics in our country. Addiction to alcohol, opioids and other drugs is rampant, and everyone is addicted to smartphones. No one can civilly disagree anymore. People are ruder than ever. And from the way things are going, it seems everything will just continue to get worse. It makes me glad I decided not to have children.
It seems as if the end of the world is imminent, and at this point, I’d welcome it. When did things start going so wrong? How is anyone supposed to care about anything these days? — Realist, Not Pessimist
Dear Realist, Not Pessimist: What’s the use in scrutinizing the world’s problems if you have no intention of being part of the solutions? That attitude contributes nothing but stomach ulcers.
Volunteer with an organization you believe in; organize neighborhood cleanups. If you’re down in the dumps, try therapy. Even if you’re not down in the dumps, try therapy. Go out and be the change you want to see in the world, or at least change the way you see the world. You can weed your garden by digging up every plant you don’t want or by looking at the dandelions differently.
Dear Annie: I have been meaning to send you a follow-up note about a situation you helped me with a little over a year ago.
I initially wrote to you about my family’s gift-giving tradition during the holidays and how it was, well, basically sending me to the poorhouse because of new additions to the family, such as new babies and significant others.
Your advice was spot on. You suggested that I speak with my siblings, as you had a feeling that I was not the only one affected by our growing family.
I was prepared to speak with my family at our next family gathering, and I was pleasantly surprised. Two of my sisters had had a conversation about this very thing and approached us all with a new gift-giving plan that worked out well for our entire family. So you were right. I was not the only one feeling the pinch.
I am happy to report that we have incorporated the new plan and, as a result, none of us is spending as much money as before. After all, the holidays should be for the gathering of family and being grateful for one another. We have been able to get back to that, and I wanted to thank you for your help. — Not Broke Anymore
Dear Not Broke Anymore: I am so glad to hear that the situation solved itself and that you indeed were not the only one thinking it was time for a change.
Dear Annie: My best friend’s 20something-year-old stepdaughter, “Tina,” unsuccessfully attempted to seduce my husband of 25 years, “Brad.” He had contact with Tina through a business connection. He had complained repeatedly to me that she was coming on to him, but I thought he was exaggerating until the incident happened.
Tina emailed Brad to come over to the home-based business office to drop off paperwork. Unbeknownst to Brad, she had waited until everyone else was out of the house to ask him to come over. When he arrived at the house, she met him in nothing but a towel. Luckily, I had agreed to his request to accompany him because of the level of discomfort he had being around her. Brad and I were shocked in the moment, and the only comment I could come up with at the time was, “I’m sorry we interrupted your naked time.” We ended our business relationship with her family, so we rarely have any contact with her.
I have not told my friend what happened for fear it would harm our friendship. Should I act as if nothing happened? I feel that my negative feelings toward Tina are impossible to hide when my friend talks about her. This friendship is so important to me. Please help. — Elephant in the Room Wearing a Towel
Dear Elephant in the Room: The thing about elephants in the room is that there’s no point in pretending they aren’t there. So you might as well take this issue by the trunk and tell your friend what happened. You can phrase it in such a way that you’re expressing concern for her stepdaughter’s mental health (because who in her right mind does that?), not attacking her character. Your friend may not be too surprised. I’d bet a big bag of peanuts that this isn’t the first time Tina has done something unsavory.
Dear Annie: My husband and I are at an impasse, and I need an honest opinion. He was coring a tomato over the trash can, and I replied that we should eat the core instead. He replied that if I wanted it, I could dig it out of the trash can and suck on it all I wanted. I took great offense, but he maintains that it was a joke, stating that he said nothing offensive. I am disgusted that he would even think, much less state, what he did. Opinion, please. — Not a Trash Eater
Dear Not a Trash Eater: Maybe your husband’s comment was just a bad joke. Or maybe it was a passive-aggressive expression of some underlying resentment. The only way to know for sure is to talk about it. Has he been bottling up frustration? Have you? Keep the conversation calm and nonjudgmental if you’d like for it to be productive. The time is ripe for discussion about what’s eating at you both.
“Ask Me Anything: A Year of Advice From Dear Annie” is out now! Annie Lane’s debut book — featuring favorite columns on love, friendship, family and etiquette — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information.
On the occasion of 60th Wedding Anniversary their family would like to invite you to an on Saturday, August 25 from 1 p.m. to 4 p.m. at 36 rue Principal, St-isidore de Clifton (ballpark), to celebrate the big event.
Best wishes only.