Be Kind
Book review by Shanna Bernier
January is often a time when we set resolutions and intentions for the new year. New Year's Resolutions often prove difficult to accomplish long term, which can be very frustrating. I don't like the idea of setting myself lofty goals which I will likely fail to stay true to. I do think that it is a nice idea to set intentions for the year, and make a kind of bucket list for your family or for yourself. Instead of declaring that 2019 will be the year you finally lose those 10 pounds, or finish that project which has been daunting you for a decade, perhaps you can decide to achieve small and achievable goals. In 2019 I want to visit an art gallery. I want to get my bike tuned up. I want to climb a local mountain. With my children in mind, I like to think about actions we can take to raise kinder and more community minded kids. I want my children to grow up sharing their blessings, and loving the world around them.
Most young children are innately compassionate and kind; if they grow up in a supportive environment without major trauma and abuse, being kind is a default setting. The older we get, and the greater the outside influence, the more we sometimes need a guiding hand. I have read many books encouraging kindness and compassion to my own children, at Sunday School, and to teens in my youth group. Being reminded of the simple pleasure of doing something kind and generous with no obligation or promise of reward is important for people of all ages. Empathy is something we can always improve, like a muscle we work out. Adults often forget the principal of the Golden Rule, otherwise known as reciprocity. Most people believe that human beings should aim to treat each other as they would like to be treated themselves, with openness, consideration and compassion.
The first book I want to recommend is actually something of an educational movement. The "Bucket Filling" books were inspired by the work of psychologist Dr. Donald O Clifton in the 1960s. He coined the concept of each person having a bucket and a dipper which can be filled and emptied throughout our day. When we feel good, our bucket is full, and when we have bad experiences our bucket is emptied. When we do something kind, we fill someone else's bucket, which in turn replenishes our own. If we are unkind, we take from another person's bucket and at the same time our own bucket's supply goes down. There are several children's books on this subject, written by Carol Mccloud and Karen Wells. My favourite, Have You Filled a Bucket Today?, is a great tool for breaking down the idea of kindness. It shows in a concrete metaphor that all of our actions, both positive and negative, have consequences. This book, while very enjoyable to read and pleasant to look at, feels more like a teaching tool and less like a fun bedtime adventure.
The second book I chose from the multitude of lovely books for children about kindness is a big favourite of my family. We have borrowed it from the library on several occasions. A Sick Day for Amos Mcgee, written by Philip C. Stead, and beautifully Illustrated by Erin E. Stead, tells the story of Amos, a devoted zoo keeper who wakes up one morning too sick to go and do his regular rounds at the zoo. His beloved animals leave the zoo and come to his home to take care of him. It is a story of tenderness and love. It is a story of friendships in all shapes and sizes. This story is a gentle and lovely bedtime story, but it leaves space for great reflection and discussion on what it means to be a good friend, and the value of a kind gesture.
With 2019 roaring through the gates and winter in full swing, it feels like a good time to curl up with your favourite small person, read a good book and set some kind intentions for the year. Perhaps planning a Saturday morning at the library reading your favourite books could be an achievable goal for your family. Happy New Year!