Song of the Virtuous Isolator

Who’s that out walking? I’m looking to see Are they stretching their legs Or just out for a spree?

Are they friends from two houses Or one family?

I am ready to judge from my door

Look, in that driveway,

They’re standing too near

Only five feet apart

And they’re both drinking beer Gasp! The virus could leap

All the way over here!

I think I should call the police.

I see you next door

Trying not to be seen

Raking leaves off your lawn

While you’re in quarantine

For you just spent two months

Down in St. Augustine

While I was stuck here with the snow

I’m shocked at the people

Out wandering the street

When we know that inside’s

How this virus we’ll beat

I’m amazed at the number

Of people I meet

When I’m taking a walk for my health

So I put on my gloves

And I put on my mask

Yes, my mask ‘cause it’s

Safer than none, since you ask

And I head out with care

To complete my small task

‘Cause those scratch tickets won’t buy themselves

Who’s that on the sidewalk?

Should they be outside?

They are walking toward me

Should I step aside?

And now they are passing

I kindly say hi

But I do so while holding my breath

The number of people

Out shopping is scary

They’re picking up goods

And the germs strangers carry But my shopping trip, though, It is quite necessary

For cat food is five for a dollar

I’ve seen shoppers raiding

The grocers like hell

As they emptied the stockpiles

Of all the stores sell

Such as hand sanitizer

And bulk Cottonelle

Though I bought some myself (to be safe)

That dude by the produce

Looks kind of in shock to me Sweaty and pale

As he fondles the broccoli

He’s standing too close

Goodness! Please do not talk to me! Oops, it’s just me in the mirror

I’m buying essentials

To tide myself through

Only things that won’t perish

Like rice and beans too

No, I’m not like this guy

With six cases of Blue

Plus he’s blocking my way to the chocolate

Now I’m wiping things down Back in self-isolation

And resuming what now is My main occupation:

The judging of others

And rationalization

Safely within home sweet home