Open to the Spirit
Today’s word: Acceptance
1) Isn’t the struggle to be accepted one of the greatest challenges we face in our teen years? We want to fit in, have friends and be appreciated. Often this desire has us compromising on who we truly are and what we believe. It may begin in our youth but the search for acceptance can be a lifelong endeavor. We are social animals. We thrive on social interaction. Hasn’t Covid-19 brought the point home to us? How many of us make important choices in our lives based on pleasing our parents, our social circle or the expectations we put upon ourselves as we try to fit into the society we are a part of?
Unconditional love has been defined as being able to care for someone without any expectations regarding that person’s behaviour or the care they may have for us. Not many of us can manage that but we like to hope that is how God cares for us. We like to imagine that acceptance and care for the person we are right now, comes with no judgments about our past mistakes or our innate flaws.
To my mind the first step towards authentic living that finds a balance between receiving acceptance from others and being true to ourselves is self-love. We are each imperfect clay vessels and life is our school. The trials, tribulations and joys of life all leave their mark. When we fall, fail or face rejection the first step to recovery is to get back up, check in with our inner moral compass, that holy centre where the Spirit of Life resides and make adjustments in line with our true values. To borrow a quote from Mission Impossible, this appears to be our mission and we have obviously chosen to accept it. We each have a unique and valuable mission to carry out. And the first step to success is selfacceptance
) One of the gifts of daily mindfulness training is the practice of acceptance. You begin with accepting in the moment minute changes to your physical, mental and emotional well-being. With nonjudgmental awareness, allowing thoughts, feelings or sensations arise and recede without any need for meaning, or making any effort to change. If a noise interrupts the silence, acknowledging it and letting it pass through your consciousness. Like waves on the ocean, letting what is most impermanent - our momentary experience - come and go as it will.
Imagine you are sitting in the most relaxed position you can find in a comfortable setting. “Nothing to do, nowhere to be, just feeling some space around you” is how in our Zoom group meditation circle we ease ourselves
2into the vast inner stillness. We many churches still see the world as, breathe all day long without thinking, believers, or sinners. They forget the but now our attention turns to welcoming mission of Jesus. each breath as gift, a life-sustaining The early church offered acceptance rhythm, an in and out exchange with and inclusion to all; The Samaritan all that breathes, becoming aware of woman at the well, the Ethiopian our connection to all that is. Symbolically eunuch, even Roman soldiers. One of it helps to open the hands - and my favourite parables tells the story of a with them heart, mind and spirit - to banquet, where there were empty places, whatever life chances to send our way so the master told his servants to go to right now, and again right now, and the highways and byways, and bring in now again. If disturbing thoughts or the poorest of the poor. All were accepted. memories cloud your peace - or the All celebrated together. nagging to-do list intrudes - just let it I have seen the faces of people who pass through. Welcome even your worries, shared their struggles with me; I am gay, says the guru, but you don’t need I am transgender, I am pregnant and have to invite them to stay for tea. no partner. When I told them I loved and Whatever arises, the goal is to calmly accepted them, and so did God, and also receive it with one hand, and let go with our church, the fear turned to a radiant the other. Without attachment or burden. smile. God loves and accepts all of us. So Why is this useful? I find if I begin should we.
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the day consciously practicing acceptance ) Many faith traditions have a - of self with all my wild uncontrollable ritual of saying blessings in the thoughts, and my setting with all morning. Waking up and seeing that happens beyond my control around the light of day, we can give thanks for me - I can choose to return to it anytime the blessings of life, of safety and of throughout the day. In the midst of a course for the food we eat to give ourselves temporary upset or obstacle or challenge, the energy we need to go about simply opening my hands - or even thinking our day. Along with these very practical of opening my hands - reminds me. prayers, we also can hope that our
Like physical training, I find it helps day will be one that is fulfilling and has o make acceptance a daily practice. And meaning. We might hope that we are it helps when faced with the unexpected productive (a personally challenging disappointment or challenge. To return one during these pandemic times) or often to mindful acceptance is not that our relationships stay strong and to acquiesce to or ignore what needs healthy. There are more than enough attention. I find I am most responsive if hopes to go around, and at the beginning I am not carrying what needs to be put of our day, anything is possible. to rest. Minor irritations are more likely But it is at the end of the day, when to remain so, tension is slower to build, we are ready for bed that the other side easier to release, freeing the spirit to of this prayer experience takes place. more wonder, gratitude, and awe. Now I Looking back at the events of the day, can accept that! the joys and challenges, the ups and
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) I have some knowledge of what downs, we can take a moment to reflect it means to not be accepted. I remember on what went well and what did not. being 12 and moving to Were you able to accomplish all that a new school where I was unknown. you set out to do? Are you feeling happy I wore glasses and was a classic nerd, or disappointed? More often than not, and it didn’t help that I ripped my looking back, no day is perfect, and most pants jumping over a fence on the first days there may even be some regrets, school day in September. I survived In the Jewish tradition, there is a though. Many people don’t. I had a conversation beautiful prayer which is said before with one of them years ago. we go to bed, a prayer of reflection, but She had tried to join the church at confirmation, primarily one of acceptance. Right before but came from a poor family we close our eyes, we give thanks to God and struggled in school. The minister for life, and with a liturgical deep breath, then had a habit of giving tests to the we accept the day for what was, a mixture class on church history. The tests were of successes and failures, blessings and meant to be easy, but she failed and challenges. But above all we are asked quit the class. I still flinch when I remember to look back and know with the same her words; “I’m not good at faith that we can aim for perfection, we anything, I even failed church”. can also accept that we tried our best.
Over the years I have celebrated the We forgive those who might have hurt journey our church has made to be us, and we forgive ourselves for possibly more accepting of people who were not doing our best. We accept that each once thought as different. My liberal day is different, and above all, the end of attitudes about the role of women, each day leads to new beginnings. gay ordination and marriage, and our When the lights go out and the sun understanding of the Bible are not universal. starts to set, we can accept that no matter
what happened during our day, we can I have faced judgment at times
wake up to a fresh start. from others. Once I had encouraged
One word, four voices, some seekers to try our our denomination.
acceptance mean to you? They enjoyed the church experience.
Rev. Mead Baldwin pastors the Waterville This acceptance did not remain
& North Hatley pastoral charge; Rabbi Boris
after I moved on. One friend, a lawyer
Dolin leads the Dorshei-emet community in
kept attending for a while until the Montreal; Rev. Lee Ann Hogle ministers to
minister who followed me got angry the Ayer’s Cliff, Magog & Georgeville United
over the liberal changes. During a worship Churches; Rev. Carole Martignacco, Unitarian service he told everyone to stand Universalist is retired from ministry with
and repeat an ancient creed, and said Uuestrie and now resides in St. Andrews bythe-sea
if they couldn’t, they didn’t belong. My NB, but keeps one foot in the Townships
friend left and never came back. Too by continuing with this column. what does