Little by little...

Each year the Lennoxville and District Women’s Centre takes part in the 12 DAYS OF ACTION TO END GENDER-BASED VIOLENCE. Between Nov. 25 and Dec. 6, The Record will be publishing an article in each issue to raise awareness and shine a light on this critical social problem.

Apiece on the importance of compassion and humanity in healing: Office hour. A student had said they would drop by to see their midterm. I pull out the midterm copy, review it and resume working.

-Knock knock. Mask on. “Hello, come in and have a seat.” [...] An hour later, we look at the midterm.

You wonder what happened in the meantime?

We talked, we shared opinions, concerns, we learned from each other’s’ perspectives. We actually met. I got to know a person, on a human level. Beyond the roles assigned to us in our shared social context. Student and prof, we share more than that. Dare I say that I think I’m a friendly prof to my students, and often fool myself into thinking that I know them. I know them with their masks on, their student masks, and I hear and see them with my prof eyes and ears. Routine numbs us, makes us forget that behind a mask, a title, a number, a gender, an orientation, a name… is where lays humanity.

This piece you are about to read made me want to discover what other hidden treasures are in those wonderful human beings sitting in my classes.

Little by little...

Life is uncertain. Life. Is. Uncertain. Uncertainty is remaining compassionate with yourself and others; while remaining aware that everyone is living their own reality. Life is full of adversity, nevertheless with a compassionate heart, we can create the change we want to see... Compassion is the catalyst to change.

How I identify should not affect my interaction with you.

My Gender does not allow you to be ignorant during our interactions. At the end of the day, everyone wants to belong. The self-awareness of our privilege, our biases, our preferences, our interpretations, our intentions, and our vocabulary, is pivotal to spreading belongingness. Nonetheless, compassion requires understanding that each individual is capable of teaching another. Meaning, whether the experience is positive, indifferent or negative, the positive experiences will be defined by the negative experiences.

Growth; the ability to understand a new perspective of an interaction one has previously experienced. Thus, to transcend past experiences. Maturity; the ability to understand the perception of others; take what you resonate with, leave what you do not. Growth and maturity are analogous. I am not telling you how to live your life. However, if we all remain compassionate to each individual when they share their perspective on life; Listen. Understand. Respect. Did you like or dislike something they said? Yes? Kind of? No? Acknowledge the point of view of the individual is valid. Be intentional with your vocabulary when one chooses to be vulnerable enough to share their experience. Observe the beauty in a perspective different from your own. Notice the compassion you receive from others. Choose to do the same. Be as compassionate as you are with your loved ones; to everyday strangers and to yourself. Because, why not?

Remaining authentic, listening and understanding, and unconditional compassion are ways to challenge the schemas we have been taught. Authenticity is following your truest journey guided by your deepest intentions during your interactions with others. Authenticity opens the door to empathy; to trust, see and hear, and to be trusted, seen and heard. Empathy opens the door to genuineness; honesty, freedom and foundation. Genuineness opens the door to effortless compassion; support and recognize the full worth of the people around you.

We are all human. We are not acting in the best way we are capable of in the present moment. We must grow as individuals. Be grateful for the increase of insight and the next opportunity to make better decisions from that moment on. Acknowledge and forgive.

Uncertainly, spreading compassion little by little will allow gender to be a personal journey; that will no longer be affected by the privilege, the biases, the preferences, the interpretations, the intentions, and the vocabulary of others.