Even the best family trees have a twisted branch or two

It was bound to happen. No sooner than the St. Edward Crown found itself placed snuggly on Charles III’S head there was talk of the ‘rightful’ heir being cheated out of his inheritance.

In this case it is an Australian gent by the name of Simon Abneyhastings, 15th Earl of Loudon. Apparently he’s a bachelor working for a fabrics company down under and doesn’t really want to be king anyway so there’s not likely to be a repeat of the War of the Roses any time soon.

This all came up originally when Simon’s father, Michael Edward Abney-hastings, 14th Earl of Loudon, was the subject of a BBC documentary that suggested he had a claim to the throne because of his royal descent from George Plantagenet, younger brother of Edward IV.

Lord Michael was born in England in 1942 and got his title through his mother’s family. Nevertheless he packed his bags and headed to Australia where he became a business success. The long-standing rumour in the family was that Edward IV was actually illegitimate and when a document turned up in some longforgotten church or cathedral in France indicating Edward’s father, Richard Duke of York, had been elsewhere when his wife conceived little Eddie, the rumour took on a legitimacy of its own.

Now, were talking the middleages here and history indicates there was a lot of hanky-panky going on particularly where the Plantagenets were concerned. Edward I, fondly know as ‘Edward Longshanks’ because of his height, or less fondly as the Hammer of the Scots, was also known for his wandering eye and his many liaisons.

His son and successor, Edward II, was much the same and his reign came to an untimely end when his wife and her boyfriend had him locked up in a castle and put his son , Edward III, on the throne. As I said, love and marriage were tricky in the middle-ages.

The problem is if, and I emphasize the if, Edward IV was actually illegitimate then his younger brother George should have got the throne and it would be his descendents sitting in Buckingham Palace and spending weekends at Windsor Castle.

Even then, proving he is in direct line to the throne could prove difficult for the Earl of Loudon since it is very likely that the Plantagenets weren’t the only ones with a skeleton or two in the family closet or bedroom. Let’s just say that the Tudors, the Stuarts, the Hanovers and yes, even the Windsors have not always lived an unblemished existence.

Perhaps the only way things could be amicably settled in this day and age would be for everyone involved to submit to a DNA test prior to every coronation. Most of the remains of previous kings and queens are wellenough preserved in royal chapels, Westminster Abbey and the like, to provide a base line and all it would require for a would-be monarch is to produce a pint or two of royal blood for verification. Mind you, that might truly let the cat out of the bag.

At the very least it would likely be a field day for historians and produce a new ‘unbroken line’ of descent from William the Conqueror to the present day that had more twists, turns and dead ends than a British country road.

His son and successor, Edward II, was much the same and his reign came to an untimely end when his wife and her boyfriend had him locked up in a castle and put his son , Edward III, on the throne. As I said, love and marriage were tricky in the middle-ages.