Motorcycles…???

Is it just me, or does anyone else feel that life could have been a little fuller if somewhere along the line, they had owned a motorcycle? I can hear my father yelling from the great beyond, “You mean SHORTER… not fuller!!” As a teen, I was hell bent on buying a used “Triumph T120R Bonneville” from Munkittrick’s (a.k.a. “Monkey-tricks”) Motorcycle Shop on Wellington South in Sherbrooke. “Not while you’re living under MY roof!” With that, my Dad had triumphantly kiboshed the Bonneville idea. Any dreams of “Easy Rider” instantly vaporized. To his credit, he had made a valid point, “You have a beautiful girlfriend. Are you planning to take her to the ‘Derby Port Drive-in’ on the back of a two wheeled deathrap?” I responded “smart-assedly”, “No… it might rain. So, I’ll take your (’64) Impala if you please, ‘cause on Friday nights, drivers of Chevys get in for free! Put that in your pipe and smoke it!” Hoo boy! Yet another example in a long list of things I’ve said, not going over well. My father did smoke a pipe though, and would always fire it up when his beloved Montreal Canadiens were trailing in a hockey game. Man, the bowl of that pipe was glowing red during the ’72 Summit Series with Russia. During the last game, my mother and I complained that we could hardly see the TV for the blue-grey smoke of Borkum Riff in the air. When Paul Henderson scored the goal to win the series, my father and I lept to our feet to embrace. He professed with pride, “See…i told ya it works!” That remains one of the greatest memories of my life.

About a month later, I ended up buying a 1967 VW Beetle from an older gentleman who worked at Nichol’s Butcher shop on Queen

Street in Lennoxville. A decision that was “Outasite”! It was a stripped down model that didn’t even have a radio, so I invested in an “under the dash eight-track cassette deck”. Gotta have tunes, man! I cherished that car and pampered it for 14 years. It took us down to Old Orchard Beach on many an occasion, with The Beatles playing earsplittingly through speakers I had installed in the doors. During those road trips, we’d count how many other Beetles we could see along the way. Back in the day, Route 302 and the Maine Turnpike were “crawling with Bugs”. Hands down, my V-dub was the best car I have ever owned. I was heartbroken when I sold it. (Sigh!) But, we needed cash to put a dent in the bill to reshingle the roof of the house we had bought in 1980. And, thanks to my father “ixsnaying” the motorcycle, I’m still alive to tell the tale.

Back to motorcycles, with another “Is it just me…” query. Does anyone else find that certain two-wheeled modes of transportation take up more than their fair share of space on our soundscape? The top offenders of our acoustic environment are, 1.) Harleys, 2.) Sport-bikes, 3.) those earsplitting motor scooters, ridden mostly by teenagers pretending to be on crotch rockets. They lean forward and gun a tiny engine that, given its size and maximum speed, makes more noise than should be allowed by law. Not to mention, if you’re held up behind one on a road with a speed limit of 90 kilometers an hour. If 25-40 kph is all a moped can muster, shouldn’t it move over…before it gets clobbered by a semitrailer? Poor kid. As Joan Osborne sings, ”….Just a slob like one of us. Just a stranger on the bus, tryin’ to make his way home.”

Spring has sprung and with a winter’s worth of pent-up testosterone, bikers are herding their hogs out of storage, just itching to, “get out on the highway”. Now, at this point in my life, I can only appreciate the beauty of a Harley Davidson Fatboy, or an Indian Scout 60 motorcycle, etc. …in a PARKING Lot…when the engine ISN’T RUNNING! The noise just vexes me.

Recently, I picked up my six-yearold granddaughter from school. She likes to tease me. She said, “Poppop, your face looks like it was hit with a thousand ropes.” I kid you not! I asked her, “Rafael, are you trying to tell me I need to shave?” She just giggled. When I told her I had to stop and get gas, there was an audible sigh from the back. “All the people in my life are old.” What the heck? When I glared at her in the review mirror, she could not surpress another giggle. A little worse for wear and tear, I got out at Petro-canada. I didn’t notice the

Harley tanking up on the other side of the pump. When he started the engine, I almost sh…well, let’s say… ”spilled gas” on my pants. I wanted to yell, “Motorcycles, like children, should be seen and not heard!” But, I didn’t want to add to the “list of things I shouldn’t have said.” For his having taken up “all” the space on the soundscape, surely he couldn’t hear me. So instead, I bellowed bravely, “Hey Fonzie…poppop tryin’ to age gracefully over here!”

Is it just me?

Sidenote for VW Beetle fans: Please Google “Big Game Commercial 2024 / Volkswagen. In the background, Neil Diamond is singing, “I Am I Cried”. And, I for one, certainly did.