“Stupid IS as stupid DOES!”…??
Is it just me, or is there really “no accounting for stupid”? Forrest Gump’s Mom was absolutely on point with her assessment. And one could flip that and say, “Stupid DOES as stupid Is”…and it still resonates with reality and reason. A person’s actions are a looking glass through to their intelligence or “lack thereof”. The politically correct would soothe us with, “I’m not saying YOU’RE stupid. It’s just that what you DID was stupid.” As a teacher, I was an obliged pacifist. But, I would always offer the following explanation of parameters. “We all know there are parameters or ‘limits’ to everything in life, right? Such as speed, physical ability, time on earth, daylight, patience, etc. The sooner in life you understand that darling student of mine, the better. How many times do you get to DO something stupid before reaching the LIMIT at which point you are conclusively determined to BE stupid?” My granddaughters would say, “Poppop! Not nice. Stupid is a bad word!” My internal dialogue on that would be, “Yeah, well…sorry snickerdoodles… but sooner or later and if the shoe fits…it is what it is.” The news and social media are rife with examples of stupidity. But truth is, there’s little need to search any further than our personal lives. Back in December, I succumbed to a moment of road rage. It was a costly, bonehead move. Did I learn from it? I’m working on it and so far, so good… but only time will tell. I do know that it wasn’t the first stupid thing I’ve done and probably won’t be the last. As it is, I’m well past MY limit. Ergo, it’s official…i am stupid. Hey! Did I just sense a bunch of heads nodding in agreement?! I guess I wrote myself into a “stupid corner” there, didn’t I (?). Someone lead me to the closet where they keep the stool and dunce cap.
Why don’t the millionaire owners of these ski hills and hotels just throw more of their OWN money at their assets instead of having the government dipping into the pockets of taxpayers? Why…‘cause, they’re smart…let the CAQ be stupid and do it for them.
What really gets me is when stupid is the outcome of a collective effort…a group project, if you will. The other day our Minister of Tourism, Caroline Proulx was very happy to announce the government’s support for the tourist industry in The Eastern Townships… to the tune of $794 million!! Why don’t the millionaire owners of these ski hills and hotels just throw more of their OWN money at their assets instead of having the government dipping into the pockets of taxpayers? Why…‘cause, they’re smart…let the CAQ be stupid and do it for them. In an effort to “caqer-cater” to business clientele and expansion”, a couple of long suffering (!), five star resorts on the shores of a local lake…the name of which is now “Massa-yippeeee”, have been awarded $5 million each! Is it just me, or is 5 mil absurdly out of whack? Maybe they’re hoping to get Bill and Hillary to come back. (Rhyme intended.) Can WE afford to eat, let alone lodge at either of these grand hotels? As CCR sang, “It ain’t me, it ain’t me. I ain’t no fortunate one!”
Last month, Quebec Premier François Legault announced the creation of a new $92 million Musée National du Québec, or National Museum of the History of Quebec. Indigenous Peoples are not included. They are regarded as “prehistory”. Whaaatt? In an article in The Globe and Mail, Konrad Yakabuski correctly calls the proposed museum an “ethnocentric vision of the province’s past.” I call it a waste of $92 million and a barefaced example of collective “stupidity”. What a pretense. What a desperate, 11th hour grab for some sort of legacy. Little wonder Legault and the CAQ are tanking in the polls. I wonder if an effigy of Major-general James Wolf will be burned at the grand opening of Legault’s museum? Nope. He was English and anyway, the Caqers would “regard” Wolf as 4th millennium B.C. That’s prehistory on steroids!
South of the border, the ALA (American Library Association) has a dilemma on its hands. The year 2022 saw more attempts to ban books from libraries than ever before. Parental Rights groups in Texas and where else… La Floride (!), are leading the charge to have books on people of colour, sex and gender related issues (specifically the LBGTQIA+ community) removed from shelves in school libraries. One of those books is simply entitled, “Drama”. How dare they! And get this…any book using the word “fart” is on their list. I have NEVER been to Florida and I’m proud of that fact. If I can’t pick up a book entitled “Brain Fart” to read while I myself am farting on the beach in front of Maralago, the Palace of Passing Gas, I’ll joyfully offer special rates for “AVERSION TO FLORIDA” memberships on the corner of King and Well. Ironically, these groups have to be using “Brain Fart” as their handbook. They have now set their sights on public libraries for fear their children might wander in unsupervised (tsk-tsk!) and find an “objectionable passage” on a “specific page” of a “particular book” on a “precise shelf”. Libraries are labyrinths. If a kid is smart enough to shake free and do all that, he or she (or they) is doubtless better able to process what they discover than the “Karens & Kevins” who are complaining about it in the first place. Most of the kids they’re worried about are likely to have quick and easy access to all kinds of offensive material via their cell phones or tablets…bought and paid for by their helicopter parents. If one were to wipe the cancel culture greasepaint off the faces of those pretenders, the true mugs of stupidity would poke through.
Now, this is where stupid morphs into dangerous. On her talk show “The View”, American actor and comedienne, Whoopi Goldberg refuses to even utter a certain individual’s name. She says, “you know who”. I prefer the third person pronoun, “it”. My feelings on “it” are as follows. One can’t fault the thing itself. No, really! It has done everything in its ill-gotten power to prove it’s unfit for ANYTHING, let alone political office. It’s the groupies who are stupid, dangerous and culpable. As a result of it having imperiously decreed, “Scuttle forth and vote!” they must have campfire sing-alongs to Crispian St. Peters, The Pied Piper. “Hey come on (boob) follow me. Hey come on (boob) trust in me.” Trying to reason with one of these minions is like peeing into the wind. At this level, the stupidity is dangerous and needs to be held to account. Fingers crossed for next week’s verdict. In the end, win or lose, elections are “like (boxes) of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get. And that’s all I have to say about that!”
Did I learn from it? I’m working on it and so far, so good… but only time will tell. I do know that it wasn’t the first stupid thing I’ve done and probably
won’t be the last.
Last month, Quebec Premier François Legault announced the creation of a new $92 million Musée National du Québec, or National Museum of the History of Quebec. Indigenous Peoples
are not included.
South of the border, the ALA (American Library Association) has a dilemma on its hands. The year 2022 saw more attempts to ban books from libraries than
ever before.
Most of the kids they’re worried about are likely to have quick and easy access to all kinds of offensive material via their cell phones or tablets…bought and paid for by their
helicopter parents.
Trying to reason with one of these minions is like peeing into the wind. At this level, the stupidity is dangerous
and needs to be held to account. Fingers crossed for
next week’s verdict.
Well…one last thing. I don’t know why, but my father used to call me “Nipper”. It would seem I had a lot of nicknames…still do. Notwithstanding…my Dad’s wisdom is ever present in my rearview mirror. I know if he were still around for me to ask, “Is it true Dad…there really is no accounting for stupid?” Without hesitation he would answer, “Nipper, you need to LEARN…BULLS**T BAFFLES BRAINS!”
PS Don’t get me started on “anti-vaxers”, “freedom convoys”, “violent protesters”, “some Judge Judy litigants”, “the guy who writes the “Is it Just Me? column”, “Survivor cast members who go home with idols in their pockets”, “facial tattoos, “sucker punchers”, and on and on, ad nauseam!
PPS A few days ago, I met a friend at the bank. He was quick to point out a spelling error in my commentary on, “Aging Gracefully”. I referenced Dylan Thomas and wrote “Welch” poet, when it should’ve been “Welsh”, as in the Celtic language of Wales. I should have known…i’m one quarter Welsh myself. He went on to point out that “Welch” suggests “juice”. Duly noted George. No sour grapes.