The gift that keeps on giving
Making quality time for each other is vital to our health
The holiday season is in full swing and the countdown is on.
Many are rushing to get to the bottom of their to-do list before the big day. There are office parties, concerts, and holiday functions to attend, and decorating and baking yet to do. For many of us life is more hectic than usual.
Two years ago, I wrote a blog about holiday giving, and it focused on gifting family and friends something that would support their health goals. A gym membership, sports shoes, or workout gear. What a better way to say you care, I thought. But, during the past year, I have become alarmingly aware that, as a society, we are very much in desperate need of something much more important. Something critical to our overall health and survival. Something that is greatly lacking in this day and age that we can’t ignore it any longer. It’s the gift of human connection.
We are losing our ability to communicate face-to-face. Our need for basic human connection has been documented in ancient civilizations dating back more than 5,000 years. It’s embedded in our biology and evolutionary history. It begins at birth, and the effects of the relationships we have in our formative years affect our relationships as adults.
Scientists believe the pleasures of social life register in our brains much the same way physical pleasure does. We are fundamentally wired to connect with other people.
While some recent studies have shown we are spending the same amount of time (or more) with our family and friends, other reports have found time together is not quality time. Today, there is more “alone-together” time and less “togethertogether” time. To me, the reason for this shift is obvious.
For years, electronic devices have slowly infiltrated their way into our lives. Today, and not only in the Western World as one might assume, “being connected” is considered a normal part of our existence. While the use of computers and other devices can play a valuable role in learning, business, and other areas of our lives, we have taken it too far. We have allowed electronics to affect our ability to communicate with one another.
If social relationships are critical to the maintenance of health, what is the result of a lack of them? A survey by Doane & Adam, 2010, found a correlation between the lack of social relationships and feelings of loneliness. Loneliness, in turn, has been linked to higher levels of stress.
Children suffering from isolation or loneliness are more likely to struggle with anxiety, depression and self-esteem issues. They also have more behavioural issues and increased difficulty learning. On the other hand, children and young adults who spend quality time with their parents, grandparents, care-givers, and peers, are less prone to suffer with these health problems.
We know a solid foundation of our basic human need for connection helps put children on a healthy path, yet, many children are being brought up by present but distracted adults. Furthermore, electronic gadgets are being used as babysitters, and in turn, children are becoming addicted to their screen time. By and large, today’s children are growing up without experiencing or understanding the value of interpersonal relationships.
According to the article How does isolation affect a child’s mental health and development? from www.isolation.com “High levels of stress are regarded as a threat to a socially isolated child’s health, not only in their early years of life but also in adulthood.”
Teens are hanging out with their friends but are constantly checking their phones and waiting for a “like” response or other type of feedback which feeds the pleasure centers of the brain. Such behaviour has affected their ability to maintain good grades, develop and maintain interest in sports and extracurricular activities, and interact socially with adults.
Not that long ago, I observed a table of about eight 20-something adults seated next to me in a restaurant. Every one of them ate while actively on their phones. I was within earshot and never heard them utter a word until they were ready to pay the bill.
Adults experiencing feelings of loneliness and elevated stress levels due to lack of social connections, are also more likely to be depressed, and research shows that depressed adults are more prone to developing health conditions such as cardiovascular disease, hypertension, and cognitive decline. Long-term stress causes the body to be in constant protection mode which inevitably results in physiological consequences as mentioned above.
As we’ve seen all around us, screen time is taking the place of face-to-face conversations, social interactions, and human bonding. Now that we know the dangers, we can work towards changing our behaviour. Moving toward less screen time means more opportunity for spending quality time fostering relationships, and in doing so, we improve our overall health.
If cultivating our relationships supports our health goals, this holiday season, and in the weeks to follow, let’s give each other the gift of time. Let’s nurture our relationships by spending quality time with the people who we love and care about the most. Let’s put the electronics aside. Let’s unplug and engage in undistracted and meaningful conversations with one-another. When we do, we’ll feel so much joy. The joy of having received the most precious gift of all. The gift of human connection, also known as love.
This is Janice, inspiring change.
Janice Amirault is a registered holistic nutritional consultant and certified holistic cancer coach. She can be reached at www.janiceinspiringchange. com
INSPIRING CHANGE