Help with tackling ‘the talk’
Sexual health resources are plentiful for parents, youth
Abbey Ferguson, the executive director of the Halifax Sexual Health Centre, remembers when her mother gave her “the talk.”
“My mom was really excellent when it came to giving me ‘the talk.’ But I do remember a particular moment when she said, ‘But if you have any questions about any of that weird stuff, you ask your older sisters,’” Ferguson said.
“Some parents have difficulty with the idea of sexual health as pleasurable and talking about sex as a pleasurable thing for their kids, and not just a method of reproduction,” Ferguson said.
That can make having “the talk” about sexual health challenging and awkward.
“Parents are a massive part of the way we develop into adults in any frame of life. So, definitely, health and sexual health is just as relevant.
“I can understand how parents might feel overwhelmed at the concept, especially depending on how poor or excellent their sexual health education was as they were youth.”
Halifax Sexual Health offers on-site clinical services. Ferguson said she deals with adults as well as youth about matters of sexual health.
“There is nothing that kids ask me that I don’t have adults asking me every day because what you are not taught as a young person really impacts what you are able to pass on as an adult.”
Julie Veinot is executive director of South Shore Sexual Health in Bridgewater.
Veinot said part of her job is to support parents and caregivers in talking to their kids about sexual health.
According to Veinot, there seems to be a large gap in parents’ knowledge about how to talk to their kids about sex and some of that is generational.
“I think each generation does a bit better job at it,” Veinot said. “It’s challenging depending on how much we were taught as children. We don’t necessarily have great role models to continue that. So, things keep changing every generation,” Veinot said.
She added even the most aware parents need some guidance to tackle issues that maybe didn’t come up when they were growing up.
Veinot said the conversations are different today because of recent innovations in technology.
“Some of the common issues we notice with youth are issues around intimate image sharing, pornography, and sexting. These are things that when we were growing up weren’t a thing, Veinot said.
“Pornography was a magazine under the bed. It wasn’t something that you literally just stumbled upon on the internet that’s really accessible.
“So, youth are growing up in a highly sexualized context,” Veinot said.
“So we have to modify our sexual health education to keep up with that as well.
It’s not just teaching about fallopian tubes and ovaries and all that … And regarding gender and orientation, I think we have a greater awareness of the diversity in humans,’ Veiont said.
South Shore Sexual Health recommends authors or books that can inform and assist parents and caregivers wanting to buy their own books and has a supply of books on hand they can borrow.
The centre also recommends a Parents Sex Talk video series on their Youtube channel.
Veinot said parents would often say, ‘I don’t really know how to say it best or what to say.’
“So, we have books and stuff … so they don’t have to come up with stuff originally.
“There are health educators out there who have already done the work and the writing so that it is accessible to kids,” Veinot said.
Veniot said, ideally, youth need to have access to evidence-based sexual health guidance from many sources, including their parents.
“It’s parents, schools, doctors and groups kids might be part of or services from other community organizations,” Veinot said.
“It all comes together when kids are getting positive information from all the sources around them,” Veinot said.
In a statement, the province’s Department of Health and Wellness said, “When homes are safe spaces for children and youth to ask questions and bring concerns, they are more apt to make healthier decisions related to relationships, body image and the many other facets of comprehensive sexual health education.
“Sexual health centres, as well as schools, are both great resources for families of children and youth of all ages to find recommendations for age and developmentally appropriate resources so that they can have conversations at home.”
Information about the services offered by South Shore Sexual Health is available at southshoresexualhealth@ gmail.com or on Facebook and Instagram. More information about the Halifax Sexual Health Centre is available at hshc.ca or by calling 902-455-9656.