Silly questions that still deserve answers

We live in tumultuous times and as regular readers of my column will know, I occasionally like to deviate from seriousness and take a walk on the lighter side.

I missed April Fools’ Day last Friday, but in honour of that auspicious day, I present 25 silly questions that may or may not boggle the mind but have absolutely nothing to do with world peace, war, the environment, poverty, disease, natural disaster or the future of humans’ life on this planet we call home.

If they accomplish nothing more than to make you a chuckle a few times, then I have achieved my goal.

I have been asking some of these questions for many years, but the important thing is to have fun.

Here goes:

1. How come we pronounce the “k” in Knorr but the “k” is silent in words like knock, know, knife and knit? I’m just asking.

2. How did people watch TV before they could binge watch their favourite shows on Netflix or some other streaming platform?

3. If I eat thin crust pizza will that help me lose weight? After all, it’s called “thin” crust.

4. Speaking of delicious, oven-baked goodness, does pineapple belong on a pizza or not?

5. Who is the more powerful superhero, Spiderman or Superman? As a side note, if Batman doesn’t have superpowers, how can he be considered a superhero?

6. Which kind of peanut butter is the best choice, smooth or crunchy?

7. Do you eat bread with the crust on or with it cut off?

8. This one has been plaguing people for generations, but I have to ask again because I still don’t have the definitive answer — does the toilet paper go over or under on the roller?

9. With all the technology and scientific minds out there in the world these days, why hasn’t someone invented a re-sealable bag for inside the cereal box? I think there’s a fortune just waiting to be made right there.

10. When thinking of weather forecasts, is it really smart for television reporters to stand out in the middle of strong winds and driving rains reporting that the winds are “really powerful” and “the rain is coming down hard”? Does that really make sense?

11. If I leave my shopping cart in the middle of the parking lot, will it miraculously find its way to the cart corral? Apparently some people think so as this continues to be a problem. What is wrong with some people?

12. Is a bird in the hand really worth more than two in the bush? Who decides such things?

13. Are my thoughts really only worth a penny?

Some days, I would say yes, absolutely without a doubt, and then there are days that a penny may be even considered too expensive. Besides, we no longer use pennies in Canada, so wouldn’t they be worth at least a nickel or maybe even a dime?

14. Who are these “old wives” and how did they gain so much wisdom?

15. If you find poutine disgusting does that mean you are less Canadian than someone who loves it?

16. I just have to ask again, how can you text and drive at the same time? Does that make you talented or stupid? It surely makes you dangerous. Let’s be clear about that. I can’t believe people are still doing this.

17. What do you do when the power goes off and you have no television to watch or computer to play on because the internet is down? It’s a dilemma that has defied the ages. Seriously though, have you heard of reading a book or playing a board game?

18. When you use aluminum foil, does the shiny side go up or down?

19. I’ve asked this before and still don’t have an answer but if someone puts something on Facebook and I want to acknowledge it but don’t want to hit “like” because I don’t like it, what do I use? Why don’t they create a “don’t like” option or an “I’m thinking about it” option?

20. Which really is tastier, the Whopper from Burger King or the Big Mac from Mcdonalds?

21. Why don’t people say goodbye when they are talking on the phone on TV or in the movies? They just cut off the conversation and hang up. That seems pretty rude to me.

22. With all the technology in the world today, why hasn’t someone invented a way to get the last of the toothpaste out of the tube? Just asking.

23. Will the twains ever meet?

24. How did people build homes or cook meals before the age of HGTV and the Food Network with their home and cooking shows? I never knew that watching someone drive a nail into a board or boil an egg could be so entertaining, but you know what? It really is.

25. Why do dentists ask you questions when they are working on your teeth? Clearly, you are in no position to talk.

I know some of you are probably saying what’s wrong with this guy? Why do such little things seem to bother him so much? Well, it’s not so much that they bother me — it’s just that sometimes I believe distractions are a good thing.

I believe it’s healthy to look at the world we live in and question what’s going on, even if you’re curious about simple and mundane things. Besides, sometimes we just need a break from the reality of life and share a laugh, or at least that’s the view from here.