Put these carols on the naughty list
Death, stalking, adultery — some holiday favourites need to be given a closer look
Cue the outrage on both sides: is “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” about date rape?
The answer, according to radio station Star 102 in Cleveland, is ... it may well be. At the very least, the station argues, the call-and-response lyrics — “Say, what’s in this drink?” — are troubling in the #Metoo era. The woman in the song keeps saying she needs to get home! But the man seems to think her no means yes! This sweet-talking predator is plying this vulnerable debutante with booze and alarmist weather forecasts to notch a carnal conquest that is non-consensual!
So, yeah, the holiday classic is now banned at Star 102.
Was this a noble decision that reflects the egalitarian virtues of our time? Or more proof the politically correct, easily triggered snowflakes are coming for Christmas?
No idea. But if we’re going to inspect holiday songs under a microscope that can retroactively detect creepy and disturbing, why stop with “Baby, It’s Cold Outside”?
Here are 10 other Christmas tunes worthy of a banning:
“Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer”
In this uplifting ditty, a senior citizen with Alzheimer’s is the victim of a hit-and-run by a marauding arctic deer. So this family let grandma out The questionable lyrics of “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” didn’t stop Lady Gaga and Joseph Gordon-levitt from performing it on a TV special in 2013.
the door after she forgot to take her meds because she was sloshed on eggnog? Got it.
The craziest part is they don’t care that Grandma’s crumpled body was found with “hoofprints on her forehead.” Grandpa isn’t mourning; he’s too busy watching football and drinking beer and playing cards with cousin Mel. These lunatics are happy grandma is dead. They even thank Santa at the very end.
“Please Daddy Don’t Get Drunk This Christmas” Nothing conveys the spirit of the holidays better than a small child pleading with his alcoholic father to not get crap-faced and wipe out under the tree again. Even John Denver’s beautiful voice can’t mask the dark insinuation of
domestic abuse. This song is to Christmas as a meat grinder is to veganism.
“Santa Baby” Speaking of which, how is PETA not up in arms over this classic? In the very first line, the cooing woman demands a sable. When not blitzing Santa with euphemistic pillow talk — “trim my Christmas tree,” “fill my stocking with a duplex” — this gold-digger is begging for convertibles and yachts. Christmas is about giving, but this lady of the night just wants to rob Santa blind.
“Santa Claus Is Coming To Town”
I beg your pardon? He sees you when you’re sleeping? He knows when you’re awake? You better watch out? You better not cry? Is
this a Christmas song or a threat from ISIS? Children, behave and stop squabbling. Eat your vegetables. Obey. Be good. If not, this bearded, overweight stranger will invade the skies in his magical sled and climb into your bedroom after covertly spying on you for the past 364 days.
“I Saw Mommy Kissing
So this kid creeps down the stairs and catches his mother making out with a man who is not his father. (If he thought it was Pops under that beard, he wouldn’t say, “I’m gonna tell my dad.”)
Voyeurism, adultery, exhibitionism, shattered innocence — what kind of sicko wrote this? The new musical director of New York's Metropolitan Opera, Yannick Nezet-seguin, will conduct performances of La Traviata in December. MONTREAL—MIGHTY Mouse has come to save the Met.
Montrealer Yannick Nézetséguin conducts his first performance as just the third music director in the Metropolitan Opera’s 135-year-old history when he mounts the podium of the financially challenged company Tuesday night in a new production of Verdi’s La Traviata by Tony Award-winning director Michael Mayer. Some in the Met orchestra have taken to calling the 5-foot-6-inch Montreal native by the affectionate anthropomorphic nickname first bestowed by mezzo-soprano Joyce Didonato. “It has to do with the incredible amount of energy and superheroic disposition, wrapped in a more compact package,” she said in an email. WWW.THESTAR.COM
James Levine started a 40year reign in 1976 that lasted more than 2,300 performances; he was pushed out two years ago following a decade of declining health and fired from his emeritus role last March after allegations of sexual misconduct the Met found to be credible.
The Met said in June 2016 that Nézet-séguin would become music director for the
2020-21 season, then moved up the timetable last February.
Nézet-séguin, 43, represents a generational change from the 75-year-old Levine, a dynamo in his prime but confined to conducting from a motorized chair since 2013 due to back injuries, his left arm impaired by Parkinson’s disease.