My friend is be­ing ha­rassed by an­other’s hus­band

StarMetro Vancouver - - DAILY LIFE - El­lie

Q: Dur­ing my friend’s three­week stay with a mar­ried cou­ple, the hus­band con­stantly tried to grab her butt and crotch when­ever his wife wasn’t around.

Fi­nally, he stole one of my friend’s un­der­wear and wouldn’t re­turn it un­less she went to the base­ment and mod­elled thongs that he’d bought her.

My friend re­peat­edly told him she isn’t in­ter­ested in him, she has a boyfriend. She’s adamant she won’t ever go back. Since she didn’t tell her girl­friend (the wife) any­thing, what should she do? Sim­i­lar things hap­pened on a pre­vi­ous visit but the forced mod­el­ling is new.

An­other time, the wife saw her hus­band grab my friend, then blamed her.

P.S. — Some­thing sim­i­lar hap­pened when my friend was with an­other mar­ried cou­ple, and when she did tell this wife, he was kicked out … but then the wife took him back and dumped my friend.

Con­cerned Girl­friend A: Your friend should avoid that first man’s pres­ence around her any­where. He has no re­gard or re­spect for her, his wife, nor the women’s friend­ship.

She must refuse any fur­ther con­tact with him, which means not stay­ing with that cou­ple again.

She car­ries no blame for his be­hav­iour, but she needs to learn to pro­tect her­self. Bet­ter to lose un­der­wear than to have gone into the base­ment to sat­isfy the man’s gawk­ing and lust.

That a sim­i­lar in­ci­dent hap­pened to her with an­other man and cost her a friend­ship with his wife, is now too many ex­pe­ri­ences of this kind.

Dis­cuss with her the ob­vi­ous red flags she needs to rec­og­nize: mar­ried men who leer at her or try to get close when she’s alone. She’s been too trust­ing.

In her case, the main rea­son she’s vis­ited th­ese mar­ried cou­ples was her friend­ship with the wives. If the men had been true friends of hers, they wouldn’t have come on to her.

More ad­vice from El­lie at thes­tar.com/askel­lie

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