My friend is being harassed by another’s husband
Q: During my friend’s threeweek stay with a married couple, the husband constantly tried to grab her butt and crotch whenever his wife wasn’t around.
Finally, he stole one of my friend’s underwear and wouldn’t return it unless she went to the basement and modelled thongs that he’d bought her.
My friend repeatedly told him she isn’t interested in him, she has a boyfriend. She’s adamant she won’t ever go back. Since she didn’t tell her girlfriend (the wife) anything, what should she do? Similar things happened on a previous visit but the forced modelling is new.
Another time, the wife saw her husband grab my friend, then blamed her.
P.S. — Something similar happened when my friend was with another married couple, and when she did tell this wife, he was kicked out … but then the wife took him back and dumped my friend.
Concerned Girlfriend A: Your friend should avoid that first man’s presence around her anywhere. He has no regard or respect for her, his wife, nor the women’s friendship.
She must refuse any further contact with him, which means not staying with that couple again.
She carries no blame for his behaviour, but she needs to learn to protect herself. Better to lose underwear than to have gone into the basement to satisfy the man’s gawking and lust.
That a similar incident happened to her with another man and cost her a friendship with his wife, is now too many experiences of this kind.
Discuss with her the obvious red flags she needs to recognize: married men who leer at her or try to get close when she’s alone. She’s been too trusting.
In her case, the main reason she’s visited these married couples was her friendship with the wives. If the men had been true friends of hers, they wouldn’t have come on to her.
More advice from Ellie at thestar.com/askellie