With Favre, fun never stops

The guy’s a bet­ter tar­get than any of his re­ceivers

SundayXtra - - TRENDS - BY CAM HUTCHINSON

FIVE peo­ple you will meet at a Grey Cup party: 5. The in­dif­fer­ent guy — he sits corpse-like through­out the game; 4. The drunk guy — he passes out be­fore half­time; 3. The ex­pert — he watches one game a year and thinks he knows more than Glen Suitor — um, well maybe that is a poor ex­am­ple; 2. The loud guy — he thinks he is at the sta­dium; 1. The dou­ble-dip­per.

Derek Wilken, af­ter TSN an­nounc­ers spent much of the West fi­nal dis­cussing quar­ter­back Dar­ian Du­rant talk­ing to his fa­ther at half­time dur­ing the Rid­ers’ game against the B. C. Lions: “ Cal­gary Stam­ped­ers de­fen­sive back Bran­don Browner tried the same thing, but he must have been put on hold.’’

Ques­tion: Why hasn’t Du­rant run as much in re­cent games? An­swer: He is car­ry­ing the Saskatchewan me­dia on his back.

RJ Cur­rie, af­ter Jes­sica Simp­son said her fi­ance, ex-NFL-er Eric John­son, chose a good hid­ing place by con­ceal­ing her three-stone ruby en­gage­ment ring at her house in a shoe: “ His other op­tion was un­der a book.’’

Jeff Fun­nekot­ter, af­ter the Dalai Lama dis­cussed his re­tire­ment plans this week: “ He also added: ‘ Note to Brett Favre — dude, take a hint.’’’

Cur­rie, on in­terim Vik­ings coach Leslie Frazier say­ing Favre will be his start­ing quar­ter­back be­cause Brett’s been a leader on their team: “ Maybe Frazier thinks Favre is like a Gen­eral, one who likes tak­ing pic­tures of his pri­vates.’’

Bill Lit­tle­john: “ There has been crit­i­cism of Kobe Bryant’s us­age of an as­sault ri­fle in a Call of Duty: Black Ops video game com­mer­cial: “ Wouldn’t it have been more ap­pro­pri­ate to use Gil­bert Are­nas’?’’

Cur­rie’s top five in­spi­ra­tional Bea­tles Grey Cup songs: “ 5. To O-line­men — Here Comes the Run; 4. To the front seven — Get Sacks; 3. To field goal kick­ers — Please Split the Posts, Man; 2. To quar­ter­backs — I Should Have Thrown Bet­ter; 1. To short-yardage teams — With A Lit­tle Help from Tight Ends.’’

Why do talk­ing heads make such a big deal of CFL run­ning backs gain­ing 1,000 yards in a sea­son? That’s 55 yards a game, folks.

From Toronto co­me­dian Frenchie McFar­lane: “ Weather in Cal­gary last Sun­day for the Western fi­nal was - 25C, which is - 45C with the Sut­ter Broth­ers’ chill fac­tor.”

Adam Braid­wood of the Ed­mon­ton Eski­mos has been charged with un­law­ful con­fine­ment af­ter he al­legedly kept a man in the trunk of his car. Don’t know about you, but I will be in­ter­ested to see how Eric Till­man han­dles this.

Jan­ice Hough, on Joe Paterno, 83, say­ing he will be back at Penn State next year: “ Makes sense, he’s the only one who can trans­late his orig­i­nal play­book with­out us­ing the Rosetta Stone.’’

Cur­rie, af­ter a 77-year-old Span­ish woman re­cently be­came the world’s old­est pro­fes­sional parachute jumper, com­plet­ing her 903rd jump: “ She’s the most talked about diver of late this side of Marc Savard.’’

An Idaho woman was jailed for pre­tend­ing to be a doc­tor and con­duct­ing breast ex­ams in bars. It could have been worse; she could have been im­per­son­at­ing an air­port se­cu­rity screener.

Cur­rie, on a Reuters re­port a man in his 60s un­in­ten­tion­ally walled him­self into the base­ment: “ This is not to be con­fused with Lou Lamor­iello sign­ing Ilya Ko­valchuk.’’

To win, Rex Ryan says his team has to play Jets foot­ball. Bet­ter that, I sup­pose, than play­ing Win­nipeg Blue Bombers foot­ball.

— Postmedia News

ANDY KING / THE AS­SO­CI­ATED PRESS ARCHIVES

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