With Favre, fun never stops
The guy’s a better target than any of his receivers
FIVE people you will meet at a Grey Cup party: 5. The indifferent guy — he sits corpse-like throughout the game; 4. The drunk guy — he passes out before halftime; 3. The expert — he watches one game a year and thinks he knows more than Glen Suitor — um, well maybe that is a poor example; 2. The loud guy — he thinks he is at the stadium; 1. The double-dipper.
Derek Wilken, after TSN announcers spent much of the West final discussing quarterback Darian Durant talking to his father at halftime during the Riders’ game against the B. C. Lions: “ Calgary Stampeders defensive back Brandon Browner tried the same thing, but he must have been put on hold.’’
Question: Why hasn’t Durant run as much in recent games? Answer: He is carrying the Saskatchewan media on his back.
RJ Currie, after Jessica Simpson said her fiance, ex-NFL-er Eric Johnson, chose a good hiding place by concealing her three-stone ruby engagement ring at her house in a shoe: “ His other option was under a book.’’
Jeff Funnekotter, after the Dalai Lama discussed his retirement plans this week: “ He also added: ‘ Note to Brett Favre — dude, take a hint.’’’
Currie, on interim Vikings coach Leslie Frazier saying Favre will be his starting quarterback because Brett’s been a leader on their team: “ Maybe Frazier thinks Favre is like a General, one who likes taking pictures of his privates.’’
Bill Littlejohn: “ There has been criticism of Kobe Bryant’s usage of an assault rifle in a Call of Duty: Black Ops video game commercial: “ Wouldn’t it have been more appropriate to use Gilbert Arenas’?’’
Currie’s top five inspirational Beatles Grey Cup songs: “ 5. To O-linemen — Here Comes the Run; 4. To the front seven — Get Sacks; 3. To field goal kickers — Please Split the Posts, Man; 2. To quarterbacks — I Should Have Thrown Better; 1. To short-yardage teams — With A Little Help from Tight Ends.’’
Why do talking heads make such a big deal of CFL running backs gaining 1,000 yards in a season? That’s 55 yards a game, folks.
From Toronto comedian Frenchie McFarlane: “ Weather in Calgary last Sunday for the Western final was - 25C, which is - 45C with the Sutter Brothers’ chill factor.”
Adam Braidwood of the Edmonton Eskimos has been charged with unlawful confinement after he allegedly kept a man in the trunk of his car. Don’t know about you, but I will be interested to see how Eric Tillman handles this.
Janice Hough, on Joe Paterno, 83, saying he will be back at Penn State next year: “ Makes sense, he’s the only one who can translate his original playbook without using the Rosetta Stone.’’
Currie, after a 77-year-old Spanish woman recently became the world’s oldest professional parachute jumper, completing her 903rd jump: “ She’s the most talked about diver of late this side of Marc Savard.’’
An Idaho woman was jailed for pretending to be a doctor and conducting breast exams in bars. It could have been worse; she could have been impersonating an airport security screener.
Currie, on a Reuters report a man in his 60s unintentionally walled himself into the basement: “ This is not to be confused with Lou Lamoriello signing Ilya Kovalchuk.’’
To win, Rex Ryan says his team has to play Jets football. Better that, I suppose, than playing Winnipeg Blue Bombers football.
— Postmedia News