You can find love be­ing a nice per­son

SundayXtra - - LIFE / TECH -

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: On New Year’s Eve, I de­cided to go to a party and cel­e­brate 2015. I had a good time and didn’t do any­thing stupid — just got drunk and woke up with a hang­over. I took a break from my busy life: I work full time, look after my chil­dren, nephew and el­derly mother and vol­un­teer at a first re­spon­der ser­vice in my com­mu­nity. I have been sin­gle the last three years, and ba­si­cally I felt I wanted to do some­thing fun for New Year’s. It’s been years since I drank or even went to a party.

Any­way, my best friend ended up with some­one that night at the party. He said about me: “She looks out of place. She doesn’t match with this kind of crowd or party life, but at least she’s hav­ing fun for once.” My friend asked what brought on this remark, and she said he told her, “A lot of guys don’t dare go near her. She’s the type that’s re­spectable and she’s a good girl.” I’m think­ing, WTF? What do th­ese men want in a woman? I thought they were look­ing for some­one who’s good and who will treat them well.

I asked a guy out last sum­mer and we had a good time (so I thought), but I later found out he went back to a woman who is a to­tal lush and runs around with a bunch of men. What am I do­ing wrong? What’s scar­ing th­ese guys off? Don’t men want nice girls any­more? — Do Nice Girls Fin­ish Last? Man­i­toba

Dear Nice Girl: You’re bas­ing your wor­ries and self­doubt on one date last sum­mer who prefers “lushes” and another guy’s half-com­pli­men­tary com­ment at a party. It sounds like he kind of liked you him­self! It’s in­ter­est­ing your girl­friend told you this stuff — maybe she could tell he kind of liked you and felt jeal­ous. Or, was she us­ing his words to tell you she wishes you would loosen up?

There’s no doubt you need to get out more. Three years is too long to stay home after the end of a mar­riage, but here’s a truth you need to know: Nice women who are warm and so­cia­ble usu­ally fin­ish first. You just need to make 2015 a so­cial year for you. Come out of your “serv­ing every­body” pro­tec­tive shell and have some fun as a nice per­son who’s fun to be with.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have a co-worker who yells at me or gives me the silent treat­ment at work when ev­ery­one else has gone home. We of­ten have to work to­gether alone, but yes­ter­day some­one fi­nally heard the yelling.

I have told the boss, but noth­ing hap­pened. I told the owner, too, but I got the blame for the fight­ing and then ac­cused of ly­ing by the yeller, like I’m the bad one. I ad­mit I have called this per­son a name, twice. I was mad and up­set for be­ing yelled at. I’m in tears when I drive home after work.

We used to be friends and have worked at sev­eral jobs to­gether, but I’ve had just all I can take. I’ve tried talk­ing to this co-worker telling them I don’t like to be yelled at, and then I get yelled at again. I can­not af­ford to quit. What can I do? Please help me. Any sug­ges­tions? — Up­set Co-worker, Win­nipeg

Dear Up­set: Life it too short to be cry­ing ev­ery day on the way home. Yelling, fight­ing and name-call­ing are not part of a nor­mal work en­vi­ron­ment. You said one per­son wit­nessed this yelling. So now you ask that wit­ness to come with you to the boss and re­port this for­mally. Also, tape the yelling as ev­i­dence to show the boss. Then it can’t be de­nied.

Can you change job du­ties within this company, which I gather is very small? If you sim­ply can’t get away from the ver­bal abuser, se­cretly look for a new job, but hang onto the old one un­til you’ve landed a po­si­tion at a ri­val company. Please send your ques­tions and com­ments to love­[email protected] hot­ or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Win­nipeg Free

Press, 1355 Moun­tain Ave., Win­nipeg, R2X 3B6

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