The tech giant everyone loves to hate

OK, not everyone. But there is something weird and almost disturbing about the online outpourings against the tech giant

Truth by Duncan Bell

Every year, as the leaves begin to bruise russet, there comes a key time in the tech calendar. Everywhere there is an internet connection, people gather to say, “Well that was rubbish! You’ve been able to do that for years on Android! Crapple!”

When Stephen Fry sat to write his review of the new iPhones for The Guardian, he kicked off the piece by saying how thickskinned he was around Apple haters.

I immediately thought, “Well I certainly hope you are, mate,” skimmed the rest of it (“These new devices are effulgent in their frabjousness, the very picture of exquisiteness isn’t it, my dears?” and so on) and hopped straight to the comments.

There, the liberal and humanitarian readers of our leading left-leaning paper proceeded to tear him a new one. It was like a ritual sacrifice, but with swearing and ad hominem abuse rather than big knives and men in cowls.

While Apple certainly has its cheerleaders online, not least the small matter of every journalist currently alive and able to work a keyboard, they are outnumbered and outgunned Below The Line. And as with all things internet-y, the effect is often sinister.

Now, I want to make it clear that disliking Apple’s products or corporate ethos is fine. Swearing and playground abuse are fine, if that’s your bag. It’s certainly mine. And clearly Apple and the users of its things are not persecuted minorities and I wouldn’t make light of real persecution by comparing it to people vigorously expressing their disliking of Apple.

However, having said that, there is often something in the tone and quantity of the abuse that verges on hate speech. In particular, the way that Apple/Apple’s fans are portrayed simultaneously as weakminded and feeble and yet also somehow sinisterly in charge of everything. It’s creepy.

And to be honest, when it’s not creepy, it’s pretty dull. “Crapple, iSheep, Android did it first, ooh, bendy” – fair points, all, I dare say, but I think we’ve got them now.

There’s a very funny Louis CK routine where he takes apart people who complain about technology. Sample: “You hate Verizon? OK, start your own company! Put dustbin lids on roof-tops, connect them with string… See how you get on!” If you want an idea of how you may be coming over when you’re in online slagging mode, you should give it a look.

Alternatively, I have another solution to this, and it’s one taken from the writings of a great poet-philosopher, Sir Ronan Keating: “You say it best when you say nothing at all.”

The next time you feel the bile rising and the urge to share your dislike of Apple, or any other tech company, without a specific reason, just don’t. Trust me, we’ll get the message so much better that way, for the reason Sir Ronan said above, just then. Your not saying it will make it all the clearer. Duncan is T3’s Lifestyle editor