GADGET GURU’S MAGIC BOX

Guru’s internal screaming seems to never cease at the moment, harmonious as it is with the wailing of his children, the howling of his cats (did you know that neutered male cats can suffer from a blocked urethra? Guru is now all too aware) and the skirl of the workman’s drill. The horror surrounding him is black and sticky and will not wash off.

He is pursuing as many drastic paths to relaxation as possible, and has his eye firmly fixed on the Teenage Engineering OB4 (£599) as one particular escape route. Not just for the retail therapy that comes from buying such a lovely object or the audio mastery which Teenage Engineering has poured upon it, but for the features: the motorised ‘tape’ wheel lets you twiddle around with sound, looping it or bending it and so forth, and there’s a mysterious ‘disk’ mode that taps into a bunch of relaxing soundscapes. It will not fill the void, but it will try.

Not all of Guru’s brain is consumed by Lovecraftian terror, thankfully; he’s also looking towards the private garden of his palatial estate, and wondering if anything can be done about its war-torn scrubland vibe that doesn’t involve Guru throwing his back out. Aside from attaching tenners to strings and fishing the local riff-raff for help, a robot lawnmower is probably the way to go.

The comparative luxury of Honda- and Husqvarna-branded robogomows is probably a little out of reach, but the Flymo EasiLife 500 GO (also made by Husqvarna, sub-brand fans) has just dropped at a more reasonable £650. There’s Bluetooth control to take advantage of its wackier features, but GaGu is not yet clear on whether this includes direct control so it can be steered around fox turds or towards the cat.