GADGET GURU’S MAGIC BOX

Guru has done some things, reader. Bad, contradictory things. For a start, he’s put in a pre-order for a basic-tier Steam Deck (£350) despite previously saying (and this is him paraphrasing his own words) it was a steaming incompatible hunk of Linux-based effluence. He now acknowledges that he was wrong.

It does run Linux, which is usually a recipe for disaster, but trusted confidantes assure GaGu that the Proton compatibility layer is (and this isn’t paraphrasing) “really bloody good” and indeed “remarkably fast” when translating Windows games to its native language. Full review coming once GaGu’s Q3 preorder lands, unless Guru can pull some strings with the people at Valve that he hasn’t spoken to since he was an incredibly irritating teenage gaming journalist – it’s unlikely they’ll be friendly.

Secondly, Guru has let you and himself down and completely slacked off his exercise routine. GaGu may just have to bribe himself with some new tech despite having thrown cash at a thing that’ll only make him more sedentary; maybe a Garmin Forerunner 945 if it gets cheaper when the 955 inevitably lands?

GaGu’s final stupid thing, at least for now: some time ago he invested (a tiny amount) in crypto and has now lost literally pounds in the Monopoly money crash. Reader, Guru feels you should be free to do what you like. He put his play money into ethereal tokens knowing full well that cryptocurrencies (and worse, spit, NFTs) are based on lies and deception and a use case that is spurious at best. What Guru didn’t quite appreciate was how easily the whole ponzi scheme could be manipulated, and just how many folks could get hornswoggled by one group doing a dump and run. At least his Dogecoins are doing better than his stocks, though.