Are meal replacements a good idea?

AOnly once has Guru had any of his words for this section thrown back at him by an editor. Many years ago he (factually) stated that one particular meal replacement had been recalled for, let’s just say, causing catastrophic digestive issues. Perhaps his language was too graphic? Perhaps. But let’s remove the word ‘pebbledash’ from his dictionary and move on.

GaGu has never had a problem with meal replacements. In his youth he’d swap lunch for two cigarettes and a bit of a cry; later on in life, Huel seemed a bit more sensible. And heck, it works. Guru pointedly doesn’t like all the flavours, and he’s had to force himself to get used to the slightly odd texture, but it’s filling and nutritious and quick and nobody else in the house likes it, so he’s not faced with that gut-wrenching realisation that Guru Jr has once again eaten the entire fridge.

Here’s the thing, though: meal replacement shakes and powders come in two kinds. Some have enough power in them to keep you going, and some don’t. Please, please don’t look at meal replacements as a way to diet, and unless you’re really sure you want it, avoid anything with ‘diet’ or ‘slim’ written on it. Dr Guru implores you not to operate at a calorific deficit, and would much rather you fudged the numbers in the other way, by working more energy off than you consume.

Why? Okay, the science says you’ll drop mass if you cut the calories, and you probably will. You’ll also go a bit mad. You might even fancy a fish supper after forcing down your gritty, oddtasting shake, thus creating an anti-diet. Guru isn’t a dietician and neither should he be given his circumference, so do take his advice with a spoonful of salt. Wait, no. Don’t do that.