GADGET GURU’S MAGIC BOX

Can we please celebrate the majesty of hot glue for a minute? Whether it’s protecting dodgy solder joints in Guru’s ill-advised electronics projects or enabling him (with the aid of an untangled coat hanger) to fish Junior’s phone out from the most ludicrous of inaccessible behind-the-toilet gaps, hot glue is there, and it’s ready to be of service. GaGu salutes you, glue, through and through – and if you, reader, would like to sling some hot snot about, you should probably get a Ryobi 18-Volt ONE+ glue slinger (about £90). Or don’t. Guru isn’t your mum.

GaGu is still obsessed with keyboards, given that they’re the only implement around that give his awful, awful thoughts an avenue out of his brain, and that they are simultaneously easy to smash when said thoughts get too much. He is less likely to take a fist to the $170/around £140 Glorious

GMMK Pro, though, given that he’d have to construct the delightful 75% board himself. If he had one, of course, which he doesn’t, because his wallet has been locked away by Mrs Guru, who is sick of keyboards being delivered and subsequently shattered. Finally, Guru has new glasses. He even went for the fancy anti-glare coating because he is a sap who is easily convinced by spectacle salesmen. But what about cleaning them? A cloth would suffice, you’d think, but you underestimate Guru’s ability to fritter on nonsense what little money he has hidden from his wife. Thus, the CarbonKlean Peeps (£22) has made it to his desk. It’s basically a weird set of tongs that pinches fuzzy stuff (er, sorry, ‘carbon microfiber technology used by NASA in space’) onto one’s lenses. It’s very good! It cleans glasses. And it is not appreciably better than the cloth the nice man in Specsavers threw in for free. Guru is an idiot.