On a wing and a prayer

In a tender and courageous letter to his parents, written on Sept.15, 1944, my uncle, Carl Cassini, provided an extraordinary insight into what the uncertainty of war was like for a young man serving in the Royal Air Force during the Second World War.

By all accounts, Carl was a brilliant young man. At 19, he was one of the youngest graduates of Scotland's Edinburgh University, and upon graduation, he immediately enlisted in the Royal Air Force, and trained as a Flight Officer in bomber squadrons.

The following is his unedited, word-for-word letter.

F/O Cassini, C.W. / Officers' Mess / R.A.F. Station / Snaith / Nr. Goole / Yorks.

Darling Mum and Dad,

I have decided to write this letter — which you will receive in the event of my being posted missing or killed on operations over enemy territory.

I must start off by saying, quite definitely, that I am not afraid to die. Like everyone else I think I feel scared when over the target — but the excitement at that time usually nullifies the effect of fear.

I have no illusions or heroics about death; if I should be killed on operations it will be when I am engaged in the duty of killing others — that is war, it is not a glamorous thing, it is just plainly an issue of one side employing all their resources to the elimination of the other side, hoping that they are not eliminated themselves.

It is a strange sensation when one realises this over the target — thousands of feet above the earth. Flak is a terrifying thing. It usually seems much closer than it probably is. If death must come it will probably be very quick. Remember, I will not be afraid.

You will have wondered why I did not write to you so often. That is something I could only explain to you if I could talk to you. Please be satisfied that it was due to the fact of my particular job in this war.

This is a short statement, but if only you knew, you would understand how much it covers. It has always pained me to think that you might have assumed it to be neglect. Please believe what I have said. If, though I might be listed as missing, I return, you will hear the full story after the war.

Should I be taken prisoner, please write often. I know it will be the only sunshine in that dreary existence.

I have so much to thank you all for — for all the great sacrifices you made to make my education possible; how hard you strove for me that I could go to a good school and a university. I shall be eternally grateful for all this. I only hope that I am spared to live to repay you.

Now it only remains for me to ask God's protection and blessing for you both and all my loved ones. Have faith in God always — do not grieve for me — I am at peace with my heart.