5 signs you be­lieve in love, but mar­riage might not be for you

The Coast - Halifax Weddings Guide - - Advice -

We grew to share our ideas and thoughts with one an­other with­out a fil­ter and with open-mind­ed­ness. We grew to ask ques­tions about re­la­tion­ships, our val­ues and what’s most im­por­tant in life. We grew to sup­port one an­other in our growth and our goals. But we also grew to have fun to­gether— so much fun to­gether—that in a way, we never grew up.

How does one cel­e­brate a love like that? Tra­di­tion would have us be­lieve that mar­riage is the only way to make a com­mit­ment to the one you love. But the fur­ther along in our re­la­tion­ship we got, the more it just didn’t feel like us.

When it came to our 10th year to­gether, we wanted to com­mem­o­rate it in a way that was true to us—tak­ing the best parts of the cel­e­bra­tions of love we’ve at­tended, leav­ing be­hind the parts that don’t serve us, and adding our own spin. This cul­mi­nated in us host­ing a big an­niver­sary party at the Bedford Basin Farm­ers’ Mar­ket, sur­rounded by our beloved friends from near and far, with drinks flow­ing, a DJ spin­ning mu­sic and danc­ing. The high­light and main at­trac­tion of the evening, how­ever, was a Com­edy Cen­tral-style roast where we in­vited six of our close friends to tear a strip off of us, un­fil­tered, in front of our guests. The re­sult was a si­mul­ta­ne­ously hi­lar­i­ous and hu­mil­i­at­ing live com­edy show. The one rule of the evening was that the roast com­po­nent was not to be doc­u­mented or shared on so­cial me­dia—only to be en­joyed in real time by those present with us.

In life, it can be so easy to go through the mo­tions, feel pres­sure to fol­low the pro­gram, and ful­fil the vi­sion of what oth­ers want from us.

Brett and I don’t want a re­la­tion­ship or a story that’s like ev­ery­one else’s, so we’ve cre­ated our own. In a sea of white wed­dings that can some­times blend to­gether, cel­e­brat­ing our re­la­tion­ship on our terms con­tin­ues to em­power us and deepen our bond. You value fun and flu­id­ity over for­mal­ity and tra­di­tion. You’d sooner spend money on travel, shared ex­pe­ri­ences and shared in­vest­ments than an ex­pen­sive ring and one lav­ish event. You be­lieve your re­la­tion­ship is be­tween you and your part­ner, not you and the govern­ment. White’s not your colour and you’d rather stand out in some­thing eye-catch­ing. You be­lieve that what ul­ti­mately so­lid­i­fies a re­la­tion­ship is the way you treat each other daily in the lit­tle mo­ments, rather than grand ges­tures or pub­lic dis­plays.

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