LOVE THE WAY WE BITCH / LOVE

The Coast - - VISUAL ARTS -

Dear Lon­don girl It’s been one year since I left you, and I’ve thought about that a lot since. I re­al­ize now how poorly I han­dled our re­la­tion­ship. I’m sorry. I’m in a much bet­ter place now and I see things more clearly. I was wrong when I said that it’s best we don’t see each other. I think about you ev­ery day. Let’s talk.

—Stretch

I miss you, The Coast

I’m writ­ing to pro­fess my undy­ing love to you, The Coast. I live in an­other prov­ince now. There’s just no pa­per here that com­pares. Our lo­cal pa­pers are not free and our pri­mary lo­cal news sources are con­trolled by an oil baron. Maybe some­day I’ll ar­rive at my own list of Best Ofs here but for now it’s trial and er­ror. I grew up read­ing The Coast. You were there for all of my 20s. The best parts of my life in the city—and the cra­zi­est times—were plot­ted out with the in­for­ma­tion you shared. When­ever I would play tour guide or pro­vide ad­vice for new friends who just moved in to the city it would be: “Check out The Coast!” It wel­comed me to the city and helped me to find my way. I miss see­ing the cool cover art­work in the free boxes around town. Su­perb jour­nal­ism, fun columns and a lot of good times. I’m sorry that I al­ways used you and threw you away—I con­fess that at the end of the week you went from my cof­fee ta­ble to proper re­cy­cling (NS has the best and I took it for granted) or some­times I even used you to start fun back­yard bon­fires. Now I’m all alone.. sniff sniff. Thanks for al­ways be­ing there!

—Haligo­nian At Heart

Thank you

I was just go­ing to pay for some­thing and when I reached for my wal­let, it wasn’t there! I rushed back to the Hal­i­fax Cen­tral Li­brary and, lo and be­hold, some­one had found it and turned it in to the front desk. THANK YOU SO MUCH! It’s been a rough year and only lately has it be­gun to turn around, and a lost wal­let—and cash—might have put me close to the edge. You are a good per­son and I hope a lot of pos­i­tive things hap­pen to you! Hugs!

—Feel­ing Bet­ter About Stuff

You’re not fool­ing any­one

Lis­ten bud, no mat­ter how much shit you talk or post on so­cial me­dia, every­one knows you’re a loose canon and treated your part­ner and daugh­ter ter­ri­bly. So stop act­ing like a vic­tim! You even as­saulted your ex be­fore. Quite frankly, I’m glad she fi­nally left you be­cause she de­serves far bet­ter. Also NO­BODY cares to hear about your shitty con­struc­tion job or your truck! Grow up and get some ther­apy or some­thing! Bul­ly­ing the mother of your child hurts your child too. You are only fool­ing your­self. —Re­al­ized You Are Toxic Some­thing’s wrong about this OK, so: I bought a watch from China for $13 and it ships for free and ar­rives at my mail­box by a Canada Post worker. Last night, I go to ship the same watch as a gift to a loved one in BC. It doesn’t fit the mail slot so they charged me $20 to ship it. So let me get this straight: Cana­dian tax­pay­ers are sup­port­ing a sys­tem that would al­low a for­eign com­pany to ship to BC cheaper than I could if I was a Cana­dian com­pany? You re­ally can’t make this shit up. It pisses me off. —Screwed Be­cause

They Can

You know how I feel

I’ve felt this way for months. I held it back, think­ing you could never feel the same. But then we got closer and closer. Now, I’m hooked. You’re the most vain per­son I’ve ever met and yet, I don’t care. I love all of your un­usual traits. I just wish you could love mine. So, I have to move on. I’ll miss you. —Bet­ter To Have Loved And Lost Than Not At All

Not my first cross­walk

I looked all four ways at the in­ter­sec­tion, be­cause I knew the dark­ness would make me hard to see. You cut around the woman in front of you, stop­ping cen­time­tres from me. I raised my arms. You yelled, ask­ing if it was my first cross­walk. It wasn’t—but ap­par­ently it was yours? —Not Sorry I Gave You The Fin­ger

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