LOVE THE WAY WE BITCH / LOVE
Dear London girl It’s been one year since I left you, and I’ve thought about that a lot since. I realize now how poorly I handled our relationship. I’m sorry. I’m in a much better place now and I see things more clearly. I was wrong when I said that it’s best we don’t see each other. I think about you every day. Let’s talk.
I miss you, The Coast
I’m writing to profess my undying love to you, The Coast. I live in another province now. There’s just no paper here that compares. Our local papers are not free and our primary local news sources are controlled by an oil baron. Maybe someday I’ll arrive at my own list of Best Ofs here but for now it’s trial and error. I grew up reading The Coast. You were there for all of my 20s. The best parts of my life in the city—and the craziest times—were plotted out with the information you shared. Whenever I would play tour guide or provide advice for new friends who just moved in to the city it would be: “Check out The Coast!” It welcomed me to the city and helped me to find my way. I miss seeing the cool cover artwork in the free boxes around town. Superb journalism, fun columns and a lot of good times. I’m sorry that I always used you and threw you away—I confess that at the end of the week you went from my coffee table to proper recycling (NS has the best and I took it for granted) or sometimes I even used you to start fun backyard bonfires. Now I’m all alone.. sniff sniff. Thanks for always being there!
—Haligonian At Heart
I was just going to pay for something and when I reached for my wallet, it wasn’t there! I rushed back to the Halifax Central Library and, lo and behold, someone had found it and turned it in to the front desk. THANK YOU SO MUCH! It’s been a rough year and only lately has it begun to turn around, and a lost wallet—and cash—might have put me close to the edge. You are a good person and I hope a lot of positive things happen to you! Hugs!
—Feeling Better About Stuff
You’re not fooling anyone
Listen bud, no matter how much shit you talk or post on social media, everyone knows you’re a loose canon and treated your partner and daughter terribly. So stop acting like a victim! You even assaulted your ex before. Quite frankly, I’m glad she finally left you because she deserves far better. Also NOBODY cares to hear about your shitty construction job or your truck! Grow up and get some therapy or something! Bullying the mother of your child hurts your child too. You are only fooling yourself. —Realized You Are Toxic Something’s wrong about this OK, so: I bought a watch from China for $13 and it ships for free and arrives at my mailbox by a Canada Post worker. Last night, I go to ship the same watch as a gift to a loved one in BC. It doesn’t fit the mail slot so they charged me $20 to ship it. So let me get this straight: Canadian taxpayers are supporting a system that would allow a foreign company to ship to BC cheaper than I could if I was a Canadian company? You really can’t make this shit up. It pisses me off. —Screwed Because
You know how I feel
I’ve felt this way for months. I held it back, thinking you could never feel the same. But then we got closer and closer. Now, I’m hooked. You’re the most vain person I’ve ever met and yet, I don’t care. I love all of your unusual traits. I just wish you could love mine. So, I have to move on. I’ll miss you. —Better To Have Loved And Lost Than Not At All
Not my first crosswalk
I looked all four ways at the intersection, because I knew the darkness would make me hard to see. You cut around the woman in front of you, stopping centimetres from me. I raised my arms. You yelled, asking if it was my first crosswalk. It wasn’t—but apparently it was yours? —Not Sorry I Gave You The Finger