Unlearning bad habits an obstacle
In a moment of illumination, or sheer stupidity, one beautiful spring day, I decided to learn to ride a motorcycle. My only experience riding a motorized bike was on my sister’s moped 50 plus years ago. It didn’t end well.
I was, however, bright enough to know if I was going to ride, I needed help. Like so many others, I headed to the Kelowna District Safety Council whose reputation for excellence is well known.
The excellence was obvious from 5:30 p.m. Friday when the course started and extended to 5 p.m. Sunday.
Depending on which package you buy, there is another weekend of instruction. The cost: $599 (bronze), $699 (silver), $799 (gold), but with a $100 add on if you want it customized to fit your needs and schedule.
I went for the gold, but, full disclosure, I had some difficulty with the learning — too many years of karate and hockey without a helmet. I did learn, sort of, but the greater difficulty was unlearning.
One lesson stressed again and again and forever again: don’t look down; keep your eyes on the horizon. Look where you’re going, the bike will follow your eyes.
But 40 years plus looking (slightly down) at a computer was too big an obstacle for this aging, slightly fossilized, brain.
Second big lesson: don’t grab the front brake and the clutch in a death grip. But after years of bicycle riding and triathlons... see above excuse.
Even before the learning and unlearning started, I knew I was in trouble when instructor Bruce Parker, in his gentle, soft manner, said motorcycling requires finesse.
I should have gone home then.
Get the motor purring, he said, and gently let the clutch out until you find the
Get the motor purring, he said, and gently let the clutch out until you find the friction zone. I’m still looking for it. I did get the motor purring, but like a cat with a hairball.
friction zone. I’m still looking for it.
I did get the motor purring, but like a cat with a hairball.
It got worse. Poor Bruce. He spent much of the weekend pantomiming and yelling over the screaming motor of my bike: “Keep your eyes on the horizon; look at the church (the school, the mall...)
I was doing sort-of OK on the practice runs for the Motorcycle Skills Assessment and was successful about 50 per cent of the time. With a .500 batting record in baseball, I’d be rich.
Not with ICBC. For some reason, it frowns on starting the MSA with the kick stand down.
Fail.
I took the course again the next weekend.
Same result. Twice.
But give me some credit, I failed differently. (“Ever tried, ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” Samuel Beckett, Waiting for Godot.)
I was caught between Beckett and the universe, which seemed to be telling me to save thousands of dollars (on a bike), and possibly my life. I did detect a snicker from the universe when I thought tiddlywinks is more my skill set than motorcycle riding.
In spite of the dismal results at the MSA, I have my motorcycle learner’s licence, so I can ride. I did pass one thing. One out of four ain’t bad.
I’m pretty good, OK, sort-of proficient, in second gear and up. I can even get the motor purring, but like the screech of a cat when its life is in danger.
In spite of my ineptitude, I did learn a lot because the instructors are knowledgeable, patient and persistent.
I’m also a better and safer driver. I’m working on keeping my eyes up, and scanning, scanning, scanning for hazards and drivers, and motorcycle riders, like me.
I just might thumb my nose at the universe and listen to (and wait for) Godot while proclaiming, like Arnold, that I’ll be back.
And you, dear reader, If you’re at all considerate, will send a sympathy card to the KDSC instructors.
Thanks Bruce, Maddie, Bill, John and Peter.