Alzehimer’s disease robbing couple of anniversary, and all other special days
APRIL 11, 2015
Every day I see that my husband is closer to the time he will need to be in care. His increasing decline is making it a little easier for me to accept that I will not be able to have him at home with me much longer. And I do struggle to be okay with that, especially after the (now rare) times when he is lucid and mostly his old self. But then the blankness overtakes him and it is obvious he is not well in any way, anymore.
It took lots of persuasion to get him into the shower last night. For more than a year now I have been getting the shower ready for him, and once he is in it he is fine. But last night I noticed he was too confused after getting in to know how to wash himself.
The solution, of course, was to get in the shower with him. However, being too confused to know how to wash is just another indication, to me, that this illness is truly taking over.
We had attended a Rockets’ playoff game with the boys last evening. Chuck did not want to go but I had already bought the tickets and I had promised our two grandsons that we would go to at least one playoff game. It took some cajoling to get Chuck there which, most likely, led to the difficulties with the shower later.
He also no longer wants to go watch the boys’ soccer games. Those I will continue to drag him to, but for hockey games someone will need to stay home with him while I take the boys if we are to go at all.
2021
I look back and I see now that my husband no longer wanting to go to the Rockets’ games was probably a result of that evening six weeks earlier when my grandson and I lost him, in the parking lot, on the way to the game. And although I thought all was fine with him when we found him in the security office, that was probably a wrong assumption on my part.
When he no longer wanted to spend time in Mexico in the winters I was sure it was because he was getting confused in our high-rise building. There had been times when staff from the building would ring the doorbell and be standing there with my husband when I answered the door. And, just recently, friends from the building let me know that Chuck was more confused and getting lost more often trying to ride the elevator to our floor than I had initially realized.
APRIL 15, 2015
It is our anniversary today but I have learned to accept that there will be no recognition of this day, or any other special occasion, from my husband. It is what it is.
However, two things happened that put a smile on my face this evening.
One — Chuck is standing in our kitchen when he informs me that he is guarding the small weather station on our island. He is guarding it because he knows someone is going to take it.
Two — my youngest grandson phones Grandma to tell her he wants a tuxedo. He wants a tuxedo? Sitting around later, watching a hockey game, it dawns on me that he meant a suit, not a tuxedo, and that the reason he wants one is that he knows hockey players go to work (their games) in a suit.
He also wants a mouthguard, because, of course, you can’t be a hockey player without one. So although he has never played the game, and has hardly ever been on a pair of skates, a hockey player is what he is going to be.
The first incident brought a big grin to my face because of the absolute nuttiness of the whole situation with my husband.
The second brought a grin to my face because my youngest grandson would be utterly adorable in a suit. He’s seven.
2021
Grandmas are good for lots of things — like finding a boys size 8 tuxedo (yes, a tuxedo), a dress shirt and a clip-on tie in Value Village for the total grand price of $17.00. A tuxedo my grandson promptly started wearing to school, telling his mom when she mentioned he might be made fun on — “Do you think I care?”
And adorable he was.
He now plays the game, still plans on becoming a hockey player and wearing a suit to games has lost much of its appeal. LOL.