COVID-19 causes challenges to relationships
In our new world of creatively finding connection, we have seen an interesting phenomenon unfold in our church. People who would never have walked through our stained-glass entrances are logging onto our online platforms.
Online access has enabled people to observe, while not feeling the awkwardness of coming in person. I know when I first went to church as a teenager, I thought I’d landed on another planet.
I know that entering the building can be disorienting and confusing. In the same way that if I walked into a casino, I would be lost.
A recent example of this greater online connection is shown through online marriage courses. Many churches see as many as 10 times more people signing up to join a course such as the Alpha Marriage Course.
The main reason is that COVID-19 is tough on relationships. Limited socializing, depression, loneliness and fear of the future are affecting the strongest of relationships.
Fracture lines are starting to creep into married bliss.
Here are five things to consider in immunizing your marriage; ideas that might help us navigate the choppy seas of matrimony during this season.
First, show lots of grace and forgiveness towards each other, choosing a disposition of kindness and courteousness. It is too easy to take each other for granted.
Second, speak positive, encouraging, and constructive words. Scripture says life and death are in the power of the tongue, our words and build up and tear down. I find I need to inspire many men to be less grumpy and more generous with their words. Third, do what you used to do. Remember those early days, the long walks, the hidden notes, the regular surprises? The pandemic is a time to reinstate old rituals of romance. Bring back the date night! This is one thing I appreciate when Michelle and I leave the vortex of four children, notifications and relocate to a dimly lit restaurant. Time for calamari, cocktails, and conversation.
Fourth. Respect boundaries. These are the times for work, and these are the times for play and relaxation. Switch off from work, agree with each other when and how you create space. This is even more important for those who work from home and find themselves in close proximity with those we love; we are not in normal routines, so boundaries need to be identified.
Fifth and finally, keep a good sense of humour, please keep laughing with each other — we intentionally watch old comedies, the brain releasing feel good chemicals to help us through.
If the fractures are turning into large cracks of pain and distance. Seek help or consider joining an online marriage course; they are easy to navigate.
COVID-19 is challenging all of us in one way or another. Let’s remember marriage was and still is God’s idea, from the very beginning.
He is with you, and He is for you.