Love of a lifetime won’t change for local man with Alzheimer’s
It was a biting cold day in northern Alberta when a young woman named Patricia sought solace in a stroll.
“She was all sad after having her heart broken by a guy,” said her daughter, Tori Wesszer, renowned food and lifestyle blogger at Fraiche Living.
In a made for Canada love story, Bob Laurin came along in his truck and asked Patricia if she’d like to go snowmobiling. The two have been together ever since.
Married 45 years, they’re best friends and more in love than ever, which makes Bob’s diagnosis of younger-onset Alzheimer’s the real heartbreaker.
Tori says her dad showed signs — frequently forgetting things and struggling with hearing loss — for several years in middle life. With a father who had Alzheimer’s, he was concerned, but when Bob shared his fears about his cognitive decline with his family physician, he was reassured, “everyone forgets things.”
It wasn’t until he was in his mid 60s and saw an ad for a clinical trial and enrolled himself, that Bob was formally diagnosed.
Now 71, his family is frustrated it took so long. “It was shocking, to be honest,” Tori says.
Sadly, it points to a shortcoming in our long-burdened health-care system. Physicians also need to be better supported with access to education and resources to diagnose and treat Alzheimer’s disorder.
Not part of normal aging, Alzheimer’s is a progressive neurodegenerative disease characterized by deposits of protein structures called amyloid plaques in the brain. While amyloid beta is normally present, in Alzheimer’s patients it forms clumps, which slowly lead to brain cell death. There is no cure—but there is hope.
Bob is receiving Aducanumab, an experimental antibody that targets amyloid plaques in a bid to slow the disease. Tori says while the family hasn’t noted any significant changes in Bob’s symptoms, they are optimistic it will help buy him that priceless commodity — time.
Always a risk-taker, in his earlier years Bob sold his share of the successful family insurance business to his brother and moved his young family from Peace River to Kelowna on a bit of a wing and a prayer.
“No real plan … they just loved it here and thought they’d figure it out,” Tori explains.
Entrepreneurs Bob and Patricia purchased an Arby’s restaurant, turning it from “a sinking ship to the No. 1 franchise store in Canada,” according to Tori. “My parents taught me the value of hard work, but most importantly they demonstrated kindness throughout my life.”
The kind of guy who would give anyone the shirt off his back, there were times Bob was taken advantage of, but Tori knows he wouldn’t change a thing. “He is kind and giving … a special person.”
If there’s anyone who’s got Bob’s number, it’s Tori’s two young sons. “He always has a hard time being the bad guy,” she laughs, “so the kids really get what they want.”
Bob always put the family first, but with his infectious sense of humour and love of a good time, people called upon him for more than business.
“He was always the MC at weddings — super witty, he’s just so good. I wish I was funny like him,” says Tori.
In fact, she and her dad share notable traits, including dazzling smiles and a roll-up your sleeves work ethic. Tori’s nickname growing up was Tor Kamata, after the tenacious Canadian-American wrestler. She and her dad have always been close. Remembering the day they faced his new reality will always be painful.
Bob came to help her install a curtain rod but her normally adept father was
struggling with the orientation of the hardware. “I asked him, ‘Dad, are you OK?’” she recalls.
“No. No, I’m not OK. I think I have Alzheimer’s,” Bob admitted.
An excruciating moment for father and daughter, they broke down and cried together. Now they’re sharing Bob’s story in an effort to raise awareness and to address stigmas around the disease.
This is especially poignant for Tori, who has a 50% chance of carrying the same rare gene, APOE4, a known risk factor in developing dementia.
While she chooses not to be tested, she worries about it all the time. “When I forget the keys to my car or the sunglasses that have been on top of my head — is it just a busy mom thing or am I showing signs?”
Ever the rock, Patricia, keeps her family — and friends — strong. “Everyone goes to her with their stuff,” says Tori, “caring is just what she does — she’s a giver.”
She’s also a painter and Tori hopes her mom will turn to her art more and have the chance to travel in the future. A riverboat cruise and sunny Hawaii are on the Laurin’s wish list.
“My parents lead a wonderful life together. Their love is the storybook kind and I just adore how much they respect each other and the kindness and grace they show each other,” Tori said.
It’s the love of a lifetime and that’s something that will never change.