Family life has changed for better during pandemic
QUESTION: I’m a husband and father in my 40s who is wondering what “normal” will be after the pandemic is finally been beaten.
Like so many others, I miss having gatherings that include grandparents, getting together with friends over coffee or drinks, going to a gym and lots more.
But I’m also thinking about what our family has gained, that we can hold on to for the future.
My wife worked from home before COVID-19, and had several outside interests - yoga classes, and several community volunteer projects. I worked in an office an hour’s drive away and sometimes had late meetings.
Our daughter is 13, our son is 10. They both enjoyed school a lot, played sports and had many friends.
Before lockdowns, home-schooling, working from different corners of our dinner table and being together 24-7, our life was about “schedules:” i.e., which parent could drive which child where, who could pick up groceries, who monitored math homework, drove car pool to swim lessons, etc. It was a busy life.
Along came COVID-19 and I saw all the other aspects of who we are and what we’ve gained through necessity.
Our daughter can’t focus on her own schoolwork if her brother’s noisily upset about his, so she started helping him. During free time, they play together more than before.
Since we’re not spending money inside stores or restaurants, we’ve been able to purchase online some new “tools” to adapt — cross-country skis to get exercise outdoors on weekend days and an outdoor heater for the porch, when weather allows, to sit outside awhile.
I’ve seen firsthand how busy my wife’s day is, and was, as she “runs” the household and still maintains her commitments — now organizing community projects online and overseeing home-schooling.
But now I’m a visible partner in all this — folding laundry with my son while we chat about hockey, cooking breakfast with my daughter during Mom’s Zoom yoga class.
My wife appreciates that I put family first, and makes sure I have time and space to keep up with working from home.
I’d rather that everyone had never experienced this terrible pandemic. But I found some lessons about making healthy changes for our future.
We’ll never again take grandparents for granted. We’ll try to keep the kids’ afterschool activities to a level where homework isn’t frantically rushed, and our adult commitments from becoming overloaded.
We’ll set time aside for enjoying the seasons together and feeling fit, whether snowshoeing or hiking trails or cycling.
I’m hopeful that a “new normal” can be better than what we’ve believed were the necessities of the past.
— Looking Ahead ANSWER: For many, COVID-19 has wrought the worst of times. Keeping any positive changes in your life when the pandemic’s declared over, is a healthy, wise goal.
QUESTION: I’m a woman, early 50s, never married, no children. My brother’s also single and childless. Our parents had an extremely difficult marriage, arguing daily throughout my childhood and on. My mother is extremely accommodating to my brother who’s spoiled. I was briefly attacked by a man at 12 when walking home. I’ve not dated a man in 16 years, but I’m not attracted to women.
I have a very deep disrespect for men/boys. I’ve told a psychiatrist, but she focused on my depression. How do I regain respect for males?
— Zero Respect ANSWER: Your negative feelings about men developed in childhood — an argumentative father, a man who attacked you, a brother whom your mother preferred. When possible, see a different psychiatrist or psychologist about feeling disrespect for all men, when your deep-rooted feelings really concern certain people at a specific time. Your desire to regain respect for males is a positive sign.
ELLIE’S TIP OF THE DAY Post-pandemic “lessons” about family life can help you change some former habits towards less-stressful choices.
Send relationship questions to ellie@thestar.ca
Sony made a surprise announcement that the PS5 will have its own virtual reality system.
Called PS VR2, it’s a next-generation VR system that, sadly, isn’t wireless.
The system will have its own controllers and will not use the old-school PS move controllers. This new controller will have new dual-sense controls.
This new VR system should offer more feedback to the player and more immersion. If Sony would have Halflife Alex as a launch game, that would be a VR system seller.
Last year, Sony offered gamers some free titles players could download and enjoy while they were asked to stay home.
From March 1 to March 31, players can download Ratchet and Clank for the PS4 without the need for a PSN-plus membership. This free offer makes players more familiar with the series and the lore before the launch of the new PS5 title this June.
This week, Sony will have a new showcase featuring 10 games for the PS4 and PS5. The only new titles that we know of for the PS5 are Returnal on April 30 and Ratchet and Clank: Rift Apart in June.
Kena: Bridge of Spirits is supposed to come out in March, but the developer has been silent after its delay last year.
The new God of War is supposed to be coming to PS5 consoles later this year. Sony hasn’t shown us anything about the game other than the name. I predict that game will not launch this year, but possibly 2022.