Providing safety for more than 40 years

For more than 40 years, SOWINS has provided safety, shelter, and support to individuals in the South Okanagan who have experienced domestic violence and abuse. As the world changes, so do the needs of survivors, who are often left with long-term and complex struggles resulting from trauma. In the coming 40 years, SOWINS will continue to grow, shift, and adapt its programs in our commitment to supporting our community. With your help, we can give hope to these survivors as they carve new paths toward living a life free from violence and abuse.

“When I was 17, my boyfriend raped me. I feared being blamed or accused of ruining his life, so I suffered alone in silence. When we found out I was pregnant, he left. I began blaming myself and rejecting anyone who seemed good to me.

At 22, I met someone who said and did all the right things. I had spent five years working on myself to believe I deserved good in my life. He was kind to me, thoughtful, and great with my son.

We were quickly engaged and then married. I was about six months pregnant when he strangled me for the first time. He had a hard day at work, and I guess I was just in his way. I got away and locked myself in our room. The next morning, he apologized. He was remorseful and promised that it would never happen again. I wanted to leave, and I tried to leave, but my son cried missing his “dad” so much that I went back to him within a week. This was just the first incident in a 10-year marriage filled with abuse.

Over time, he isolated me from my friends and family. He controlled my entire life, what I spent, where I went, and who I talked to. Eventually, everyone became so frustrated that I wouldn’t leave that they stopped taking my calls. If I told him I had enough, he would threaten to leave with the kids or have me killed. I thought if I could behave or just tough it out until my boys were older and moved out, then I would be safe to leave.

One day, he wrapped his hands around my neck so tightly that I passed out. I woke up to my youngest standing over me, crying and trying to wake me. My ex yelled that I was scaring the kids and to stop being dramatic. That was when I knew that I had to get out. We left that night.

Staying at the SOWINS Transition House saved my life. With the staff’s support, I reconnected with my family. SOWINS was there for me through a long legal battle until we were allowed to move closer to my family.

The next few years were difficult, and my boys were very angry with me for not leaving sooner. We struggled to cope with the trauma we endured, but we never gave up. We still have a long road of healing ahead, but for the most part, we are healthy and happy. And most importantly, we have peace, freedom, and no longer any violence in our lives.”