Parents are testing out private schools for their daughter

QUESTION: My daughter needs a private school specific to her special needs. There are three of these specialized schools in my city and we have applied to all.

One insisted they needed a letter of recommendation from my daughter’s teacher. However, when I asked the teacher, she told me she wasn’t allowed to write such a letter. It was school policy.

Another school insisted my daughter take specialized performance and aptitude tests, geared specifically towards her special needs, but both tests were scheduled on days when my daughter wasn’t feeling well. They refused to reschedule, so for both tests my daughter was sick.

The third school insisted we come in for a personal interview, but when we arrived, we saw we were with 20 other families, none of whom knew this was a group event. My daughter has some social anxieties, which go handin-hand with her special needs, and one would have assumed the school would have understood that and been more upfront.

Though we got through all of it, the journey has been so arduous that my daughter has bad feelings towards all these schools and doesn’t want to go to any of them. Now we’re just waiting to hear which ones have accepted her, and then we can make our choice (if we have one).

But how am I going to get my daughter back on board?

– Overwhelmed Mama

ANSWER: Your daughter needs to understand that these are the only schools available to her. Though their application process may not have been fun, once she’s enrolled, she’ll enjoy the school and benefit hugely from their program.

As a benefit to others, though, you may think about discussing your experiences (after the fact) in hopes that the schools will learn something and treat their next candidates better.

QUESTION: We have been taking our pets to a local veterinary clinic for several years. The owner and chief veterinarian is a very caring, well-respected and honest businessman. He’s worked hard to build up his practice and reputation. Since we’ve been going there regularly, we know all the staff.

I’m concerned about one of the veterinary assistants, who is a functioning alcoholic. I know this to be true as one day I was in the pub, very close to the clinic and she walked in. She didn’t notice me and quickly drank two shots of whiskey, then headed back to work.

About an hour later, she returned and had another two shots before heading back to work. I commented to the bartender that she must be having a bad day, and he confided that she comes in several times daily!

I’ve gone to the pub on different days and have seen her. She now knows I’m aware of her situation.

I don’t like to interfere in people’s lives, but I don’t want this person looking after our animals especially when they require injections which she is licenced to give.

Secondly, I would hate to see anything happen to the vet due to her actions.

I’ve thought about telling the owner, but it’s difficult since this assistant is always there.

– Concerned and Worried

ANSWER: This is a very serious issue that needs immediate attention. Other people’s animals’ lives are in someone’s untrustworthy hands. She may be trained, skilled and knowledgeable, but once she’s under the influence none of that matters. You must speak to the owner/vet and express to him that he needs to dismiss her from work immediately. How he does that is up to him. If he’s a caring person, he’ll no doubt want to help her.

This woman obviously needs help, but my focus is on removing her from the clinic both for the safety of the pet patients, and for the vet’s reputation.

FEEDBACK: Regarding the man who runs barefoot through the neighbourhood:

READER: Never mind fears for him stepping in or on something! I would be more offended by an 80-year-old running around in public in a Speedo! Maybe, sublimely, this is also offending the neighbour!

LISI: Maybe. But I think the neighbour is more concerned with the man’s mental and physical health.

READER NO. 2: My husband runs in shoes called FiveFingers. They are designed to emulate running barefoot. I believe they studied African runners in order to design them properly. My husband claims they are the best shoe ever. He loves them so much he wears them casually.

Just a suggestion.

LISI: That’s a great suggestion. I know those shoes, and many runners swear by them. I’m not sure how the neighbour would approach this gentleman though, as he is only ever seen running by.