Sex party favours, skipped emotions, Rolls-Royce cocks
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I AM INVITED TO A (GAY) SEX PARTY. WHEN INVITED FOR DINNER YOU BRING A BOTTLE OF WINE, BUT WHAT IS THE PROPER ETIQUETTE FOR A SEX PARTY? COME SHOWERED AND DOUCHED, I GUESS. WHAT ELSE? DO I BRING SOMETHING FOR THE HOST?
-Newby At Sex Party
A host gift is a thoughtful idea, NASP, but slipping your host a little cash—paper towels are way more expensive than they used to be—may be a better idea.
“I usually ask for a £5 tip to cover the costs of food, soft drinks, and hard drinks I provide at the parties I run,” said Ali Bushell, author of the Sex Party Handbook. “Even if the host of NASP’s first sex party doesn’t ask for money, being willing to tip the host $10 or so is always appreciated. It’s especially appreciated when the guest acknowledges the time and effort that went into making the event happen and mentions that they’re grateful.” While Bushell makes alcohol available at the parties he hosts at his home in London, not all sex party hosts serve booze. “Bringing alcohol isn’t a terrible idea,” said Bushell, “but NASP needs to bear in mind some people might prefer the party to be dry. So, if he’s thinking of bringing a six pack of beer or bottle of wine to share, best to check with the host about whether that would be welcome.”
Big ups to arriving very recently douched and very freshly showered. Also: don’t wear cologne, put your phone away, be polite when you decline to play with someone, be just as polite to someone who declines to play with you, get on PrEP (prevents HIV infection), look into DoxyPEP (offers some protection against other sexually transmitted infections), and maybe consider using condoms (they offer excellent protection against HIV and other STIs).
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I HAVE A LOVER AND WE ARE LONG-DISTANCE. I’D LIKE TO SPEND THE LIMITED TIME WE HAVE IN PERSON DOING PHYSICAL ACTIVITIES—GETTING INTIMATE—BUT HE TAKES A LONG TIME TO WARM UP AND NEEDS TO SPEND A LOT OF TIME TALKING FIRST. IF WE HAD ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD, THAT WOULDN’T BE A PROBLEM, BUT WE USUALLY ONLY SEE EACH OTHER ON BUSINESS TRIPS THAT TAKE US TO EACH OTHER’S CITIES. CAN WE CUT TO THE CHASE WITHOUT SHORTCHANGING HIS NEED TO RECONNECT EMOTIONALLY FIRST? -Down To Business
You can’t.
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MY GF AND I ARE GREAT IN THE SACK TOGETHER—AND THE FLOOR, AND THE STAIRS, AND THE LAWN, AND THE TENT, AND THE FIRESIDE—AND IT FEELS LIKE WE’VE BEEN DOING THIS ALL OUR LIVES, SINCE THE MOMENT WE TOOK OUR FIRST BREATH, AND BY THE TIME WE FINALLY DRIFT OFF WE’RE TRANCED OUT IN A POST-ORGASMIC
LOVE BUBBLE OF SUCH COSMIC-ETERNAL ELASTICITY IT FEELS AS THOUGH OUR CONNECTION HAS NO BEGINNING AND NO END. THE OTHER NIGHT IN THE SHOWER SHE SAID I HAVE A “ROLLSROYCE COCK.” CAN I PUT THAT ON MY ANONYMOUS FEELD PROFILE WITH HER PERMISSION? I MEAN, SHE’S RIGHT. IT WORKS LIKE A TREAT. BUT I FEEL A BIT WEIRD BRAGGING ABOUT MY OWN DICK LIKE THIS. PARTLY BECAUSE FOR MANY YEARS I HAD WHAT WE MIGHT KINDLY REFER TO AS A RAPID CLIMAX PROBLEM. NOW THAT I’VE GOTTEN A LITTLE OLDER, THOSE DAYS ARE BEHIND ME, AND EVERYTHING IS COMING
TOGETHER. SO, CAN I PUT “ROLLSROYCE COCK” IN MY FEELD PROFILE? I GOT AS FAR AS TYPING IT IN BUT THEN I THOUGHT, UGH, SEEMS A BIT SELF-INVOLVED. WHAT DO YOU THINK?
-Rapturously Received Compliment
There are places a man shouldn’t brag about his cock—on Zoom calls, on international flights, on main—but a man can brag about his cock on his anonymous Feeld profile. Go for it. GS
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