Des­tined to be MP?

The Glengarry News - - The Opinion Page - STEVEN WAR­BUR­TON whump!

Eric Dun­can’s de­ci­sion to try and re­place Guy Lau­zon as Stor­mont-Dun­das-South Glen­garry’s Mem­ber of Par­lia­ment should come as a sur­prise to ab­so­lutely no one.

The 31-year-old has been a po­lit­i­cal junkie for most of his life. He was elected to North Dun­das coun­cil when he was 18, a time when most guys his age pre­ferred spend­ing their time par­ty­ing than with town­ship bud­get meet­ings. Then there was his me­te­oric as­cen­sion to the mayor’s chair and, fi­nally, as war­den of the United Coun­ties of Stor­mont, Dun­das, and Glen­garry.

So when Mr. Dun­can de­cided not to run in the last mu­nic­i­pal elec­tion, many of us thought the writ­ing was on the wall re­gard­ing Guy Lau­zon’s time in Ot­tawa. The vet­eran politi­cian has served the rid­ing since 2004 and for much of that time, Mr. Dun­can worked for him in an of­fi­cial ca­pac­ity.

Well, Mr. Dun­can as­sures us that, when he de­cided not to seek re-elec­tion, he didn’t know Mr. Lau­zon was re­tir­ing. We’ll give him the ben­e­fit of the doubt here but we still re­main un­sur­prised about his an­nounce­ment to run. Ev­ery­one who knows him, even at a su­per­fi­cial level, must know that run­ning for such an of­fice is in his na­ture.

Date re­ver­sal

The af­ter­math of Christ­mas is the most de­press­ing sea­son in the en­tire cal­en­dar year. We build up to it for an en­tire month, we pump our­selves full of eggnog and car­ols and the Char­lie Brown Christ­mas spe­cial, and then, sud­denly, It’s Box­ing Day and we look out­side at the snow and the ice and the cold grey sky and we re­al­ize that we have an­other three months of this crap.

Well if I were the king of the world, I would solve this prob­lem by re­vers­ing Christ­mas and Valen­tine’s Day. This should not upset tra­di­tion­al­ists. Je­sus was prob­a­bly born closer to Fe­bru­ary than De­cem­ber any­way.

Most of us would balk at this idea but ac­tu­ally, it makes per­fect sense. Spend De­cem­ber 25 ro­manc­ing your sig­nif­i­cant other. Buy roses and choco­lates in­stead of stock­ing stuffers and video game con­soles for the kids. Then, once the hus­tle and bus­tle of Valen­tine’s Day is over (hint: there is no post-Valen­tine’s Day hus­tle and bus­tle) then you can get ready for Christ­mas. Right af­ter New Year’s stores can start haul­ing out their Christ­mas stuff (I for­got to men­tion that if I were king of the world, it would be a crime to get Christ­massy be­fore Jan­uary 2). Then we’ll have six weeks of buildup and then, on the new Box­ing Day (which would be Feb. 15) we can look out the win­dow and we won’t be de­pressed. In­stead of com­plain­ing about three more months of crummy weather, we can say “spring is just around the cor­ner.”

Merry Christ­mas, ev­ery­one.

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