‘It’s meaningful work’
P.E.I. in need of more loving, caring foster homes
Sheila Whiteway’s home is not simply a place for foster children to hang their hat.
The old farmhouse in Dover, P.E.I., has been a temporary loving place to many foster children over the past six years or so.
Sheila and her husband, Jamie, are committed to playing a key role in the healthy development of children in need of a safe, nurturing home – children that may have experienced physical, sexual and/or emotional abuse, as well as neglect.
“We’re therapists on a fulltime scale,’’ says Sheila, who along with her husband, has two biological children ages 18 and 20, a five-year-old adopted daughter and currently three young foster children.
“It’s that daily interaction,’’ she adds of the genuine, loving attention that she feels makes a true difference in the lives of children in foster care.
“It’s all these little moments, these little nuggets.’’
Sheila says a misconception exists that foster parents merely provide maintenance — packing the lunch and sending the children off to school.
She notes the couple understandably went through an intensive process before a foster child was ever placed in their care – and that was just to provide respite a couple of days a month to another set of foster parents.
“We are being entrusted with children,’’ she explains.
The pair went on to be entrusted with an infant, caring for the baby for nine months.
Sheila quickly discovered foster parenting was fulfilling – and gut wrenching.
“I think it was very reassuring because that infant really needed us at that time,’’ she says.
“When she moved on it was heartbreaking… but that’s the way it is.’’
Sheila says successful foster parents come to realize quickly that their role is caring for a child or children in the short term.
“It’s to know your strengths and to know your weaknesses as well,’’ she adds.
Length of stay varies on the circumstances of the child and the child’s parents. The province makes every effort to reunite children with their parents as soon as possible.
Children in care may stay with foster parents for just a few days or up to a number of months.
Maureen MacEwen, provincial co-ordinator for P.E.I. Child Protection Services, knows some people are reluctant to become foster parents because they fear they could not handle the heartbreak when a foster child leaves their home for good.
She says the key is to have people realize the “life-long impact’’ they can have in the lives of foster children by providing a temporary, safe and nurturing environment.
More foster homes are needed in P.E.I. There has been a steady decline, dropping from as many as 95 a decade ago to only 65 or so today.
Wayne MacFarlane, president of the P.E.I. Federation of Foster Families, calls the situation “desperate’’.
He says some foster parents are taking on more children then they really want to because they don’t want to see the children go to a group home.
Cribs have even been put into group homes in case infants requiring foster care have to be housed there.
Sheila, though, is quick to sing the praises of the group homes on P.E.I., saying the workers provide quality care.
“These are good people that work at the group home,’’ she says.
MarFarlane says the best recruiters for fostering are foster parents, but adds they can also be the strongest detractor if they find the job too demanding.
He would like to see foster care professionalized.
“It needs better training and (improved) compensation,’’ he says.
“We are reimbursed volunteers and we need to be well-compensated professionals.’’
MacEwen says the province’s Department of Family and Human Services is working hard to provide greater supports to foster parents.
“We’re always looking at the compensation that we provide to foster families,’’ she adds.
“While it’s important that foster parents get compensation and have no expenses for the care of the child themselves, it is important that the focus is on the care of the child…we certainly provide adequately for the care of the children and compensation for the foster parents.’’
MacEwen says recent media attention highlighting the struggle of finding enough people willing to provide foster care has resulted in a spike in enquiries about tackling the demanding, but fulfilling, task.
“Very positive response, but we are still encouraging people to inquire,’’ she says.
Whiteway believes many, many Islanders would make good foster parents.
“I like to think we do well for the children,’’ she says.
“It’s meaningful work. It really is.’’