Innocent husband bears brunt of wife’s anger at her father

DEAR ABBY: I’m a 55-yearold guy stranded in a tough marriage situation. My wife has had a serious falling-out with her father. After his wife of more than 50 years passed away, he immediately took up with an old flame and dumped his family in favour of his new lady’s family.

My wife now treats me like garbage. Apparently, “all men are dogs,” and if she passes away, I “obviously already have a girl lined up to take her place,” and, oh yeah, I plan to abandon my children in favour of the new woman’s family. I’m being painted with a very broad brush, and it is destroying our relationship.

My wife is angry and bitter all the time, and I feel abandoned. I love her dearly and don’t know what to do next, although I am thinking of punching out her father. Any thoughts are appreciated. — STRANDED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR STRANDED: Your wife is now an “orphan.” She’s hurt, angry and misdirecting her anger at her father onto you. Of course it is unfair to you. She needs counselling now, before she compounds her pain by destroying her marriage to you. Be smart and insist upon it.

ABBY: I’m a fifthgrader, and I’d like to know something important to girls my age. I want to know how to get a guy to be my boyfriend and the steps to getting him. It’s hard for me to get a boyfriend.

I know what you’re going to say — I’m too young for boys. But if I am, I would like this information for future reference. I have tried other things. Nothing worked, and basically, you’re my last hope. — PLANNING AHEAD IN BAY CITY, TEXAS

DEAR PLANNING AHEAD: OK, let’s review the basics. Are you neat and clean in your appearance? Are you fun to be around and liked by your classmates of both genders? Do you smile and say hello and show an interest?

Basically, the qualities that attract other girls are the same ones that will make boys pay attention. But there’s an important point to keep in mind, and it’s that while you may be developing an interest in boys, many of them may not be mature enough to have developed an interest in girls yet, so be patient.

Focus on your studies, become involved in activities you enjoy and things will happen naturally.

DEAR

ABBY: Recently, a waiter spilled the dinner he was carrying for another diner all over my coat.

This is not the first time something like this has happened to me or someone I was dining with.

What is the proper thing for a restaurant to do in a situation like this? Offer me a free meal to cover the cost of getting my coat dry-cleaned? — ANNOYED IN AUSTRALIA

DEAR ANNOYED: The very least you should receive is an apology. If the restaurant is Class A, the manager should come to your table, apologize and instruct you to send or bring the bill for dry-cleaning your garment to him or her so the establishment can pay for it.

Offering to treat you to dessert would also be good public relations, but expecting to be treated to dinner is excessive.

DEAR