Walking through grief
Derwin Cole and his wife, Shelley, lace up their shoes for 16th annual Hospice Hike
There’s a stillness in the Sunday afternoon air as Derwin Cole and his wife, Shelley, walk side-by-side down Summerside’s boardwalk for the 16th annual Hospice Hike.
In the quiet, and behind the crowd, they reflect on their loved one’s life and the devastating news of the terminal diagnosis, as well as the care and support received after by hospice volunteers.
“It started with bowel issues, but Uncle Jim was one of those guys afraid of surgery and he kept putting it off,” said Derwin, while noting the early symptoms his uncle James “Jim” Inglis experienced before the initial diagnosis.
“My brother called me one afternoon to tell me that he had a call from Uncle Jim wanting to go to hospital, and that’s when we knew something was seriously wrong. We took him in (to the hospital) and he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and it took off from there.”
The cancer spread rapidly to nearby organs, and Inglis was assigned to Hospice P.E.I. for end-of-life care.
“He always had a joke and was a very entertaining fellow to have around. I remember going up to his place when I was a kid and we would watch television and play around the yard. He was a councillor in Kensington, along with my father at the same time, so he knew lots of people.
“When Jim’s wife, Marge, passed away he was kind of lost. He doted on her, and then he was alone in a big empty house. We did what we could to entertain and get him out of the home, but he wasn’t the same,” said Derwin.
“At the end, hospice (volunteers) were there to answer our questions and they let us know they were there for us. It was also a comfort for Jim to have people surrounding him. He was a very social man, and it took his mind off what was happening.”
Inglis, aged 84, died on Sept. 7, 2017.
Liz Parsons, co-ordinator of volunteers for East Prince County, says having the conversation and knowing what someone wants when dying is important.
“It’s often complicated with families when it comes to endof-life. There may be issues beneath the surface that come out when people are under stress, so I’ve been working with families and co-ordinating volunteers for the right situation.
“I meet with the families and find out what their needs are and what the patient would like and then line up the right volunteer for them.”
There are 300 hospice volunteers across the province.
“End-of-life brings out the best and worst in people. You see really wonderful families doing incredibly well against very hard odds, and that’s heartwarming. Then you see people who are struggling, afraid and in difficulty, so this event is so important to raising awareness.”
Hospice volunteers can help in people’s homes, long-care facilities or in hospital.
“It’s a provincial organization for anyone on P.E.I.,” added Nancymarie Arsenault, the executive director.
For more information, visit www.hospicepei.com.