Abigail Van Buren
My husband and I are happily married but have one serious problem. Our sleeping habits are incompatible. I am an extremely light sleeper; he is a horrendous snorer.
He sees a snoring specialist and tried several medical treatments, none of which worked. The only solution is a minor surgical procedure.
He doesn’t want to have the surgery. He insists he “sleeps fine” and says I’m the one with the problem. I have tried earplugs, white noise machines, sleep medications and more, but I cannot get a decent sleep with the obnoxious snoring.
He stays up much later than I do, and I enjoy sleeping in our master bedroom until he comes to bed. I usually get driven out of the room by the noise.
We agree we don’t want to sleep in separate rooms and lose the intimacy, but it’s the only option for me to sleep well. Neither of us wants to give up the master bedroom because it’s the only one with an attached bathroom.
Am I wrong for asking him to have surgery, so we can share a bed? And if he won’t, who should get the master bedroom? — SLEEPLESS IN LOUISIANA
DEAR SLEEPLESS: Let’s be honest. By now your husband knows full well he doesn’t “sleep fine.” The reason for his reluctance is fear of the surgery. It wasn’t wrong of you to ask, and out of consideration for you and the intimacy in your marriage he shouldn’t have refused.
However, because he insists on coming into the master bedroom, which he knows wakes you, for the sake of your health, take the other bedroom. Understand, the “intimacy bed” does not always have to be the “sleeping bed.” Good sleep quality is necessary for us to function properly.
I have five grown children and three grandchildren. They have always come first, especially my grandchildren. When I began the relationship with my husband, I told him how important both were to me and that, no matter what, my grandchildren always came first. He agreed and said he felt the same way.
Now, two years into our marriage, my daughter and grandchildren want to come live with us for nine months while her husband is deployed. My husband is freaking out and keeps complaining every day even though they aren’t even here yet. He has pushed me to my breaking point, and I am not sure what to do. I would never tell him that or act that way toward his children or grandchildren. I’m now considering divorce. What should I do? — FAMILY FIRST IN THE SOUTH
DEAR FAMILY FIRST: I can’t help but wonder how you would really feel if the shoe was on the other foot. Would you be as accommodating as you expect him to be, or would you be panicking, too?
Remind your husband that this is what he agreed to before your marriage and point out that this isn’t forever. It will be for only nine months. Tell him it will be an opportunity for him to get to know the grandkids and vice versa. Who knows? He might even enjoy it.
If he’s still unhappy after a reasonable period of time after they arrive, then it may be time to discuss separating. But don’t jump the gun.
A P.E.I. rock band will have one of its songs featured in a new video game set for release in September.
The Loyal Thieves, made up of Darcy Cudmore, Ian Murray, Daniel Cudmore, Cody Cudmore and JD Geldert, will have its song “Nowhere Fast” featured in the new NASCAR video game, titled NASCAR Heat 3. The game is set to be released on Friday, Sept. 7, and will be available for the Playstation 4, Xbox One and Windows PC via Steam.
Originally recorded by Jon Matthews at the Sound Mill Studio (Emyvale, P.E.I.) in 2014, as part of the Music P.E.I. Emerging Artists Program, “Nowhere Fast” is a hard-hitting, guitar-driven song with strong vocals and a melodic chorus that sticks around long after the song has ended.
The five-piece band, made up of three brothers and two close friends, features Darcy on vocals and guitar, Murray on lead guitar, Daniel on bass, Cody, guitar, and Geldert, drums, is happy to see that their song impressed those at NASCAR and the Charlotte, N.C.-based game developer and publisher, 704 Games.
“It certainly is a unique opportunity and not something you’d predict to happen with one of your songs,” said Darcy.
“Growing up playing video games and hearing the classic songs that have been featured over the years, it’s pretty cool to hear our song associated with the game.”
The Loyal Thieves (formerly Banokkburn) is currently not performing live, but the group is eager to see what the future has in store.
“Life happened,” said Daniel. “We’re spread out all over now; the guys are in Halifax, Ottawa and New Zealand. JD and I are holding down the fort here on P.E.I. But I’m sure once we’re all in the same place again we’ll get together and write and record and book some show dates. We’re close and talk all the time; 2019 could be a fun year for us. It’s exciting to get some love with ‘Nowhere Fast’ in this video game,” he said.
The six-song, self-titled release by the Loyal Thieves, which includes “Nowhere Fast,” can be heard at www.loyalthievesband.bandcamp.com as well as streamed on Spotify, Apple Music and iTunes. CD copies can be purchased by contacting the band via email at loyalthieves1@outlook. com.
For more information on The Loyal Thieves, check out www. facebook.com/loyalthievesband, www.twitter.com/loyalthieves and www.instagram.com/loyalthievesband.