Abigail Van Buren

while my son’s father and his lady have their cake and eat it, too? I would really appreciate your thoughts. — HURT MOMMA IN THE EAST

DEAR HURT MOMMA: While you have every right to be angry, has it occurred to you that you may not only be grieving for your mother, but possibly be suffering from postpartum depression as well? Discuss this with your doctor and ask to have your hormone levels checked. It might also benefit you to join a grief support group. Your ex-boyfriend and his “lady” may appear to have their cake and eat it, too, but it’s not true. They have each other, and both of them appear to be miserable people.

For the sake of yourself and your son, please stop allowing them to make you miserable, too. You have your beautiful child, and endless possibilities lie ahead if you will open yourself to them.

If necessary, find a licensed therapist to help you let go of the negative and get your priorities straight again. Once you succeed in doing this, you’ll be fine.

We used to display a wide variety of family pictures on our living room walls. Before repainting, we took them down.

Because some of them include our children’s former and current relationships, we can’t decide which ones we can comfortably “redisplay” without offending anybody.

We have remained on good terms with former in-laws and the children from prior relationships, but the “new” and the “old” never speak of each other, much less enjoy seeing pictorial reminders hanging in our home.

Some of our grandchildren are blood relatives; others are not. Our children have moved on to other relationships.

This is our home, but we don’t want to offend any of the people we welcome into it.

Any advice? – PICTURING IT IN ARIZONA

DEAR PICTURING IT: You are a sweet and sensitive person. Talk to your children. Ask how they and their children would feel if you “edit” the collection, and which ones they would prefer you retire. And be sure to offer the outtakes to them rather than toss them.