Don’t make a quick marriage mistake

Q– We’ve been married for two years but are now apart.

She always told me that she’ll one day leave me forever and sue me to support her bringing up the children.

She said that her Option B was ready. We have one young son. I call her six times daily, but she never receives my calls. She calls me only when needing help.

I’m thinking of moving on and looking for another lady to marry. Please advise me.

— My Options? A- If you’re testing me with this messed-up situation, I’ll be blunt: If all you can think of is seeking another woman to marry, then you and your first wife were a match. I hope that’s not the case.

She, as you describe her, is a cold, calculating person who knew she’d want out, soon, and how to get a free ride.

You mention having a young son, in passing, but stress wanting to focus on getting a new wife. Yours is a different approach from the other men who’ve written me over the years about women who don’t honour co-parenting agreements.

They feel bereft and try every possible way to re-connect with their kids. You seem concerned about yourself first. Perhaps the situation has affected you this way.

I strongly suggest you get to a lawyer and do everything legally possible to be able to see your child regularly.

As for your ex-wife, ask yourself why she “always told you” she’d leave you forever and sue for support.

Then, consider what you could’ve done to change her mind. If she truly manipulated you into marriage solely for Option B of leaving with money, then get personal counselling to help move on (while still trying to see your son).

You need some understanding of how you married someone so determinedly self-interested. It can help you develop better judgement when you’re dating new people.

You’ll learn to recognize a “taker” and be wary of someone who comes on strong too fast. You now know that, beyond early attraction, couples need to know each other’s values and character.