Rude behaviour isn’t friendship

Q-My gentleman friend from many years (we’re just friends) and I often have dinner at each other’s homes. Or go out for a coffee at a cafe.

When I’m a guest at his home, he’s constantly texting or spending the entire time that I’m there, calling his friends on Facetime.

I’ve said that I find it rude and he responded, “You have attention or rejection problems because you’re an only child. It’s time to get over it.”

He’ll sometimes even bring the computer to the dining room table to check if any new text messages have arrived.

Or, he’ll carry his computer or phone to another room to check for messages.

The most constant texting to him is from a neighbour whose boyfriend is often absent, especially on major holidays.

So, it’s more prevalent and upsetting to me when it’s on Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, etc.

It’s not of an urgent basis, just bantering back and forth.

Meanwhile, I’m being completely ignored and wonder, “Why was I invited?”

Sometimes, I’ve just left his house and let them continue their conversations If I question him, I’m reprimanded.

Periodically, he distances himself from me for a few days to prove the point that he’s going to continue his habit with this neighbour.

I’ve never questioned his talking to family, which is also constant. But if I call him when this neighbour’s visiting his home, he’ll text-message that he’ll call me after she leaves.

When he’s invited to my place, he brings his computer and does the same thing. Arguments

have arisen over his rudeness.

We’re both in our 60s; and I’ve now expressed that it might be better for me to back off from this longstanding friendship.

I wonder if other people are experiencing the same behaviour.

Frustrated

A-This man is rude and disrespectful to you. He invites you over for dinner, but he ignores you. He’s even openly dealt with you on a lower priority level than his married neighbour.

Worse, he’s dismissed your valid objections with a poppsychology analysis of your being needy because you’re an only child.

He’s not a true friend.

It’s time to enjoy your 60s, as so many of your age-cohort do, by finding people interested in shared conversations over coffee or dinner, by attending local theatre and discussing the plays, or signing on to an affordable, neighbourhood concert series, etc.

You don’t have to accept this man’s obsession with social media controlling your so-called visits together.

He’s adding nothing positive to your life, and worse, as an old friend, shows no caring.

Rude is just rude, period.