Husband’s needs differ from his wife’s
I fell in love with an older woman and married her when I was 30 and she was 46. Now, I’m 46 and she’s 62. Our 16 years together have been magical in many ways.
With my wife’s self-confidence and broader life experience, she encouraged me in everything I felt like trying ... from running marathons to starting a new business which has been very successful. She also made me feel like a “silent partner” in her work by always discussing any new ventures and decisions with me.
We have friends of all ages.
Even her son, who was 20 and concerned about the age difference when we married, says we’re a perfect match.
However, I’m beginning to sense an issue we must soon face. My wife is still beautiful and keeps fit and looks younger than her age, but her sex drive is no longer a match to mine. She still shows eagerness about making love, but it’s becoming obvious that she prefers a gentle romp to anything more taxing. Running her company takes a lot of energy, and if we don’t get to dinner and bed together till 11 p.m., she’ll gently participate, but I can see she’s yearning for sleep. This is one discussion I don’t know how to raise with her. I love her deeply. I won’t get sex elsewhere. What should I say and do?
Older Wife, Less Sex
It’s not disinterest.
More likely fatigue, unless a doctor’s check-up proves otherwise.
Many women in their 60s feel in their prime, adjusted to menopause, free of birth control, aware of how to arouse their libido themselves, familiar with sex toys and comfortable speaking up about their feelings and needs.
Meanwhile, your wife’s still working long hours, has responsibility for her own business and stays involved, advising and encouraging your interests like marathons as well as your new business.
No wonder she’s tired at bedtime. Time to start a discussion about her needs for feeling zestier, instead of taking care of everything else. It seems you’re both successful enough financially for her to cut back on some work hours in favour of healthy stimulation.