Sister’s boyfriend seems to be a jerk

Q - My sister’s boyfriend is the biggest jerk out there. He treats her like garbage. He pretends they’re not together when he’s out with his friends from university but parades her around at his new job like a trophy.

My sister is magazine pretty – honey brown hair and green eyes, tall and thin, with an hourglass figure that she accentuates with her clothing.

She doesn’t know that he pretends not to have a girlfriend when with his buddies. I found out because one of my friends just started dating one of his friends.

It’s totally ridiculous because my friend knows the truth.

They’ve been together for four months. She told her new boyfriend, and they had an argument about it because he said it wasn’t true.

How can I help my sister see that her guy is undeserving?

Secret Sister

A- Yuck! He does sound like a jerk. And it doesn’t make sense to me why he would be proud of being with your sister at work but not with his friends.

Your sister needs to know this about him and pointedly ask him why. It would help if you and your friend were nearby, so he doesn’t try to gaslight her.

If this were a TV show, I’d direct the friend’s boyfriend to happen on the scene just at the right moment to force the truth out of the boyfriend.

I can’t think of any good excuse for his behaviour, but it’s always good to hear people out and give them the chance to explain themselves. But if he doesn’t have a good reason (other than some false bravado/machismo), I suggest she dumps him and finds someone who is proud to be her partner anywhere and everywhere. Feedback regarding the man feeling lost and lonely after divorce (Jan. 4):

Reader: This person will never find happiness unless he understands what went wrong in his marriage that caused his divorce. Marriage isn’t easy. Compromise and respect each other’s differences.

Understand your anger, the subsequent reaction and how to remedy it.

There’s an obligation to one’s children, one’s spouse and oneself to try to reconcile those differences.

This person needs to talk to a professional about what happened and why, or he will repeat the same mistakes over and over.

It just made me feel so sad that he felt so lost. No one loses their family completely unless they allow it to happen. His children will always be his children, and his relationship with them will influence them all their life.

Time won’t heal all without guidance. He needs to be told to get help.