Child struggling in school

Although he is happy and has lots of friends, he has trouble learning

Q - I’m not sure what to do. My son is absolutely miserable at school, but he loves his school friends. We can see that there’s something different about him and that he has trouble learning.

There are occupational therapists at school who have helped him along the way, but we think he needs a more indepth assessment.

A friend of mine told me about the psycho-ed assessments that some schools do or that you can do privately. We can’t afford that and don’t have insurance to cover it. We also can’t afford a private school.

I spoke to a psychologist at the school, and she asked me if I thought my son was happy. I said yes because he’s a happy kid who enjoys having fun at school with his friends.

Her second question was whether or not he had friends, and the answer was obviously yes.

Thirdly she asked me if I thought he was learning anything. And he is. He just has trouble keeping up, staying on track, doing his homework, etc. He’s just not into the learning structured part of school.

I’m not sure where to go or who to speak with next. Schooled

A- You’re not the first mom to notice her child is having difficulties in school, nor the last, so don’t feel alone.

The first thing I suggest you do is set up a meeting with his primary teacher, the principal and any resource he has already being given. Discuss their findings, compare with your observations and talk about how you can get professional assessment done. Unfortunately, especially since COVID, so many children need extra support. Depending on your son’s needs, he may not fit the criteria the school has for doing the assessment.

If that’s the case, you’ll have to go private, but you can find places that will help with the cost.

Once you’ve done the necessary tests, you’ll know exactly what your son needs and where to find it. There are ways around having to spend a fortune.

Feedback regarding the embarrassed wife (Jan. 10):

Reader #1: I suggest that Embarrassed Wife take a video of her husband and show it to him when he is sober.

I did this with my late husband who was put on a drug that made him slur his words, he made no sense, fell over, etc., but when I broached the subject, he had no recollection of his behaviour. In desperation, I made a video on my phone. Not only did he have to believe me, he was incredulous as he watched what he had become, but bonus, we were also able to show it to his doctor.

Reader #2: Lisi, just talking to him one more time is doomed to failure. Don’t you think the wife has already tried that?

What you could have done is referred her to AL-ANON who counsels people married to drinkers as to the best way to deal with them. They are a valuable resource for anyone faced with this problem, and seeing this suggestion in your column will steer others towards them.