Laughter greets lifestyle change

New endeavour possible under the right circumstances and with the right support

Q - I have worked as a family practitioner for several decades. Recently I decided I want to wind down my practice and start writing a book I’ve always had brewing. Obviously, my wife knows, and she supports me. We are financially secure.

But my brother and his wife laughed in my face when I accidentally mentioned it at dinner one night. We get along with them well as a couple, and we both like his wife. We don’t seem to be on the same wavelength as my brother, though, and we often go home after a night out shaking our heads in confusion and disbelief.

Unfortunately, I’m now unsure that I’m making the right decision about my future. I’ve never written a book before, but I believe in this story, as does my wife.

How do I know whether to go ahead?

Nervous next move

A- Any big lifestyle change is going to be nerve-wracking. That’s life. There are no guarantees. The beauty of this decision is threefold: 1) You said you’re financially stable so taking a hiatus from your job won’t be stressful or cause you to feel pressured. 2) You can always go back to being a family practitioner. There aren’t enough (in Toronto, at least), so I can’t imagine it would be hard for you to join or rejoin a practice. And 3) If this book has been running around in your head for years, you know it must come out. It could be a bestseller or it could be a flop. Either way, it’s got to come out to make room for whatever else is in there.

Finally, with a supportive spouse, you can do anything you put your mind to. Don’t let the naysayers get under your skin. I wish you the best of luck in your new endeavour.

Q- Something happened to me last week, and I can’t stop thinking about it. I was in a grocery store with my toddler in the trolley, talking with him and walking through the aisles picking up what was on our list. I always had my hand on his head, his hand, his arm, or his knee. I’m a tactile person and I just love to be in physical contact with my child.

After I had several items in my cart and was walking through the produce aisle, I noticed the bananas I had chosen were gone. I looked around, asked my son, but neither of us could figure it out. I went back to the bananas, picked out more and as I put them in my cart, I saw an employee take out my apples.

My first response was to say, “Excuse me, but I believe you’ve just taken my apples,” in a quiet but firm voice. He turned to me, and it was obvious from his body language and facial expression that he had some type of disability. He said he took them because they weren’t mine and proceeded to give them to a woman walking by. She shrugged and gave them back to me, which made him furious.

I gave them back to him, paid for my stuff and left. But now I think I should have spoken to a manager.

Not in the moment

A- Yes, you should have spoken to the manager, and it’s not too late to do so. For whatever reason, the employee was confused. But his confusion was hindering your shopping and making you uncomfortable. As a customer, you have every right to say something.

If you’re concerned that this employee will be fired, I can only tell you that companies who employ staff with disabilities often have guidelines in place and will probably find somewhere else for him to work. You likely don’t need to worry about that.