Mom should stay in her lane
It’s enough to look out for her own daughter without passing judgment on others
Q - My daughter is on the cusp of her pubescent years. Her legs have grown long and thin, but her torso is still shapeless and flat. Some of her friends, however, have raced past her in physical maturation and are round in all the right places. She looks like a little girl beside them.
She’s fine with it, we talk about it and understands that growth is out of one’s control. She also dresses appropriately for her body and her age. These other girls, well, frankly, they don’t.
I was picking my daughter up from school last week, and it was an unseasonably warm day. As the kids exited the building, they all started removing their hoodies. I was shocked when two girls in my daughter’s class, once hoodieless, were wearing T-shirts that looked painted on to their enormous breasts.
Every parent at pickup was involuntarily staring as the girls, completely clueless, turned to walk home. Do their mothers know and not care? Do they care, but not know? I have a strong urge to tell one of them who I think might be receptive. Should I? Boob alert!
A - You say you “think” one of the moms “might” be receptive. What if she isn’t?
For perspective, if I had a daughter wearing clothing that was too revealing at a too-young age, would I want to know? Probably. And I would hope that any of my friends would tell me. But I don’t think I’d want a stranger or an acquaintance sharing that with me. That would come off as judgmental. And no parent likes to be judged.
So, stay in your lane and parent your own daughter, unless you confidently feel you are close enough to these women to speak your mind.
Q – I’m 22 and volunteer at a weekend daycare. I love the kids! We have our regulars, who come for a few scheduled hours, and we have dropins from the kids who are registered during the week. My understanding is that it’s a special service we provide when people need extra unplanned help.
Most of the parents who I see regularly are nice and friendly. They are genuinely so grateful and so loving with their child, upon pickup. But there’s this one mom that I just can’t understand.
Most of the times she has dropped off her child, she hasn’t called in advance (we have limited space) but lies and says she has. She’s shiftyeyed, never says thank you and isn’t loving to her child in front of us.
But what bothers me most is that she’ll come into our space, grab her child and almost sneak out without saying goodbye or thank you. How do I handle this? Newbie
A - Definitely alert your manager/supervisor so that an adult can speak with this woman. You donít want to turn her off bringing her child because you know the child is safe when with you. If for some reason she refuses to comply with letting you know when she’s taking the child, you could implement other security measures, such as locked doors or a special exit pass.